Tuesday, December 27, 2005

What is a Spinerval?

I had a comment posted asking me what a spinerval is.


Here is the link and then I'll give you my interpretation of a Spinerval Video/DVD.


Spinerval Videos/DVDs are training tools for you bike. They also produce running and swimming training tools as well.

You can purchase a trainer,


on this site or on EBay or at your local bike shop. There are good ones and then better ones. I like mine which is the Kinetic SuperFluid Tainer. However ask those you know and trust that use trainers and they may have better suggestions.

The DVDs range in difficulty and length. I currently use the Team Clydesdales and Sweating Buckets Spinervals.

I get great workouts using the DVDs and I see progress in my road work as well. I am increasing speed and my endurance is getting better as well.

I hope this helps.

Have fun!!

Merry Christmas and I need to whine!!!!!!

Confucius say~
The place to look for a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.

The Holliday’s have been long for me this year. I am not trying to rub it in. When I say long, I mean the ongoing type of long, never ending type of long, or the, stuck at you in-laws too late after Christmas Day dinner, TOO LONG.

I have been pushing my body hard the last few weeks. I have received wonderful new toys to help me in my training. My Garmin, Forerunner 301 (Thanks Amanda my wonderful wife), a new pair of running shoes (Thanks Mom Donna), “The Stick” to roll out the knots in my calves, and so much more. However, I think I have tried to put too much into TO big of a body.

In the last 4 weeks I have logged, thanks to http://www.beginnertriathlete.com/default.asp , 140 miles on the Cyfac (my awesome bike), 47 miles on the pavement running, over 9 hours on spinervals, and a little swimming here and there. It has been tough to get in a pool up in Cincinnati where I have been for the Holliday’s.

I have been highly motivated. I have logged two 6 mile runs; I have put in several days that encompassed a 45 minute Spinerval set then a 3 mile run. I have braved 15 degree weather here to run, I have two large blisters on my feet, but through all of this I was highly motivated.

Since Sunday, Christmas, I have been highly un-motivated.

My wife is concerned about a Multi-Sports Training Camp I am attending in February. I look forward to learning the correct way to train, how handle my nutrition better, and many other things. Amanda is concerned that I may no be able to really take advantage of the camp because I may not be able to keep up. I hear her concerns. But I have been working really hard and my bike is really coming along and my swim has always been, well, acceptable.

I had pre-planned this week to be an off week as I prepare for the return to a heavy work load and just simply a little break from training so hard. I set this schedule back in November. So I am not really slacking, but mentally I feel bushwhacked!!

I know I must work hard and consistently since I have extremely lofty goals for the 2006 race year.


Three Oly/Triathalon races, many sprints in between and a Half IM at the end of the season.

I am . . . scared to death. I think that is my motivation right now, fear. I am afraid to fail. I may, but I am afraid of it. Memphis in May is my first big race and I am feeling a bit flustered as I write just thinking about it.

My legs hurt, specifically my calves and shins. My lower back hurts, my feet hurt, is this how it’s supposed to be?? If so then I am fine with it. But I think I may be pushing it a bit too hard.

I know my logged numbers pale in comparison to many of you who read my diatribes, but think about this, in November and December, I have logged half of my 2005 training times/distances. Now I didn’t get started in Triathlons until May of 2005 with my training, but I was excited to see my accomplishments over the past two months. But, then I begin reflecting on my pains right now.

I had the greatest lower body massage on Christmas Day. My Mother in Law, Donna is a massage Therapist. She is trained in a plethora of styles of massage and teaches many as well. She got into my legs and did miracles. I wish she would move down to Baton Rouge from Cincinnati. She is a wonderful German woman, as is my beautiful wife. For those of you who know my wife, you can agree, for those who don’t, she is a gorgeous, 5’10”, blonde, blonde hair, blue eyed goddess!!!!! Ok, enough of that.

Why am I posting such an ongoing, complain ridden, whinny, post?

I want feed back. I want to know that what I am doing is normal and that the pains I am having are par for the course or, I want to find out differently.

I have not been on a scale the entire Holliday Season since I haven’t seen a scale that can measure over
350 lbs. Since I left at 365 lbs. I am hoping I am less, but I will admit I have indulged in the Cornbread Dressing a bit too much!!!

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukah, Shalom, and the many more faiths I am missing, may your New Year be bright and prosperous, and may you find a peace about yourself that leads to eternal happiness.

With much love,


Monday, December 12, 2005

"I Have a Dream"

“I have a dream.
~Rev. Martin Luther King

I don’t want to minimalize such a powerful and courageous quote. Please understand that I truly have a dream. I am going to set this as one of my many goals for the year 2006, but to me it is more a dream or possibly fantasy, rather than a goal.

Towards the end of the training season this year I had begun setting tiny feel good goals. For example, my goal in the last three or four triathlons that I raced in was to not finish dead last. I actually accomplished this goal twice! I was excited. I was proud, not because I beat someone else, but because I had made a new stride or reached a new level of success towards my goal of becoming healthier.

I am in NYC right now visiting my youngest sister who I love dearly. While visiting I also had breakfast with my awesome cousin, Michelle. If you read my blogs, you may remember I did Try Andy’s Tri in Houston with my cousin Michael. This is his sister. We were discussing the NYC Marathon and triathlons and her coming down to race in a tri with us and so on so forth.

I became extremely motivated!!!!!

As I sit here in the LaGuardia airport I am going through my training schedule and looking at the camp in San Diego, and then I pulled up the Memphis in May Triathlon, which Michelle said she would be interested in doing. As of now it is no where near ½ filled, but out of probably 100 or so people signed up, there are only 7 Clydesdale’s signed up.

Clydesdale’s are men who weigh more than 200 lbs!!!! I laugh out-loud at this. If you happened to be in the LaGuardia airport on Dec. 11, 2005 around 1:30 PM in US Air terminal 7 and heard a large man bellow out, that was me. 200 lbs.!!!!!! HA!!!!!! I weigh an additional Clydesdale!!!!!!!!!!!! I would like to see the African Elephant Race division for the 300 + pounders!!!!!!

As I began to look at the list of participants I decided to check on the rewards or awards and saw that they give awards five deep for Clydesdale’s!

Therefore, I have decided to create within me the dream to “place” in the Memphis in May triathlon, which is in Memphis, In May.

I am working hard. I have been training hard. I hope over the next few months and when I go to San Diego for my training camp that I learn to train for strength in this sport. I am going to meet with one of my tri club members, Vanilla, soon to learn how to properly utilize my heart rate and all that jazz, but I am setting a goal to place in the top 5 of all Clydesdale’s who race in Memphis in May.

Keep that in your positive thoughts for me.

Here we go!!!!!

Friday, December 02, 2005

"The Biggest Loser"

The Biggest Loser . . .

I watch the TV show, “The Biggest Loser” and I find myself more depressed after an episode than before I watched it.

I am a fat man. However, I am not a lazy fat man. I am active. I try to eat correctly, but I fail miserably. I try and stick to a weight regiment, but I fail. The only thing I have done consistently is my triathlon training.

Tri training is brutal! I train 5 days a week, between 6 to 9 hours a week. I can run a 5k, ride 35 miles averaging 16 mph, and I literally can swim ALL DAY LONG! I burn between 900 to 1400 calories a day with training alone, however after watching the results I see in the brave souls that participate in “The Biggest loser” I begin to question the need. Not literally, but in my head. A war breaks out in my brain that questions, contrives, simulates, reasons, and regurgitates until I have fried myself and give up!

The question I am unable to answer is; why can’t I lose weight?

This war that battles out in my head continually attempts to answer that one simple question that I feel could unlock the door to my obesity, but I can answer it. But I can imagine what the answer may be.

I feel I succeed in one major category, currently, while I feel I fail miserably in two or possibly three other major categories.

Failures first:

1. Healthy, size appropriate eating.
2. Weight Training
3. Possibly, self motivation or self sabotage

I am from New Orleans Louisiana and I will tell you that there is/was currently, no city in the world that has better eating than my city. I realize Chicago, New York, and many other Mecca’s of exquisite dining will likely disagree with vigor, however for my sake of obesity I stand by my statement.

I am also from the South. In the south we have a unique style of socialization, eating. Our social scene thrives around food. Tupperware, I would assume, makes gigantic profit in the Southern Region since all we do here is gather and graze!

Combine the two elements along with my strong passion for good food and lots of it and you can see where my first failure, I feel is most detrimental to my life.

I enjoy picking up a weight and throwing it around. I am VERY strong. I play rugby. Not that that is the reason I am strong. Many times our opponents will underestimate my strength and only recognize the fat the covers the muscle. Soon they regret that miss-diagnosis.

Where the issue for me is, I am an instant gratification freak. I want it and I want it now. If there was one major issue I could change about myself, it would me that. I don’t see changes in y body that motivate me to continue the body sculpting portion of my recovery. EVEN THOUGH I RECOGNIZE IT!!!!!!

Motivation or could it me self sabotage? I don’t know how to keep myself properly motivated. I am learning one thing about myself, which is that I need results driven goals. Triathlons are an example of that. I have defined, results driven goals where, if I don’t follow through with my goals, I won’t complete the race and the one thing I never want to experience again is a DNF in a triathlon.

I also think I self sabotage my opportunities at times. If I find a situation to my disliking whether it be because of a socially uncomfortable feeling, i.e.; running in public and having the self imposed humility of wondering in the people driving by in their cars are laughing at me, or whether it is the physical sabotage, i.e.; not believing I can actually do an event or exercise because of my obesity.

That is one of the issues that fires me up the most. When I was at my highest weight of over 400 lbs I didn’t believe I could DO ANYTHING physical anymore. I had bought into society’s view of fat people. I had bought into the “laziness” idea of fat people.

If I can give one thing back to all of you that are struggling right along with me is, you can do it! Don’t believe the hype about being fat! It may not be easy in the beginning. It may down right miserable for you to just walk up and down your stairs or around the block, but you will, I promise you will get better! You are not lazy, you are sick right now. You are able to do those things society tell us we can’t. I did a triathlon at 398 lbs. I did all of them above 375 lbs. Don’t let anyone including you, tell you that you can’t.

My Success:

1. Training for my triathlons

That’s it. I get up in the mornings and I dedicate time and energy to fulfilling that goal so that I can reach higher goals with in the sport. And I think I know why and I think I know why I become more frustrated after a viewing of “The Biggest Loser”.

It has structure and most importantly, I understand it. Key there is, I truly understand it. I understand that if I am going to attempt this sort of triathlon with this distance, I need to begin training here, with this regiment, and these types of training. It is laid out for me and I have experienced it AND HAD SUCCESS at it.

As I watched the final episode, which by the way, all of many of my clients and all of my family and co-workers think I should try and do the show, including my wife. But as I watch the final episode and see the beautiful people that the participants have become, I am left empty.

Are you ready, here is my self sabotage. I feel empty because I don’t think I will ever be them. I don’t know how. I only know that I would give many things to be them and to know how they feel now. To know you will see your children grow into parents, to know you will be able to love your wife for many years to come, to know you feel beautiful now.

I feel empty because I am training so incredibly hard, but I am not seeing the results. I am empty because I don’t know how to do it . . . eat correctly. I don’t understand how to do it and I have never had success doing it, therefore I feel eternally trapped in this horrific shell and I know that is how many of us feel.

But, we have to keep fighting those battles because the more we begin to understand that we DON’T KNOW the more we will begin to learn what we need to know. It may be from trial and error, God knows that’s generally how I figure out what works and more often, what doesn’t. It may be through literature. It may be by the death of someone close to us that lost this battle, one of us may be lucky enough to go on a show like this and learn through experience and success so we can teach it to others, I DON”T KNOW, but we have to continue to fight this until we beat it.

I love each of you that read this, while I may not know you, I love you. Some might ask how? How is because, we are in a common fight together against a common enemy and when pitted against such and enemy as obesity we have a bond that is very strong and we understand the pain and fear that goes along with being fat. If a person has never been fat, they will never understand the daily and minute to minute battle we fight.

I do love you all.

So when you are watching “The Biggest Loser” or a show similar that transforms people, be happy for them, encourage them with positive thoughts, but when it effects you . . . However it does, good, bad, or indifferent . . . USE THAT! Use it to help you continue the fight. Don’t let it lead you to the refrigerator or to the phone to order Chinese delivery. Use it in your battle to beat it. I know we can.


Be Brilliant.

Friday, November 25, 2005

A Look Back at my 2005 Race Season . . .

May 28, 2005 Tri It On tri 01:47:08 200/9/2
June 26, 2005 Buster Britton 03:11:28 400/15/3
July 6, 2005 Disco Tri DNF
July 31, 2005 Abitaman 3 03:32:12 800/20/3.1
Aug. 21, 2005 Tri Andy's Tri 01:53:14 300/10/3
Oct. 18, 2005 ULL Tri 01:39:16 200/10/3
Oct. 30, 2005 Meat Pie 03:03:25 800/20/3.1

I really enjoyed my first season. I am looking forward to next year. I have an action packed race season begining with a multisport.com camp in February.

I will do 3 Int./Oly triathlon's and my first Half IM, with several sprint tri's in between.

Thanks to all of those who have been so supportive, most of all my BRtri club here in Baton Rouge and my Wonderful wife Amanda.


Tuesday, November 15, 2005

CBS and Obesity Tue. November 15, 2005

Please tune into CBS tonight to watch this series on Obesity.


Tonight they will spotlight Obesity and triathlons!!!

TiVo it if you can't watch it live.


Sunday, November 13, 2005

Before and After 2 (Nov. 11, 2005)

I don't see any change however I have lost 11 LBS. since the last set of pictures. I will post next set in Mid December. Thanks for your support!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

REVISED 2006 race schedue

2006 Triathlon Race Schedule (REVISED)

I am preparing for an eventful year in 2006. I have lofty goals and no fear! Let’s have a recap and then I will list my schedule for the entire year.

I plan to be down to 300 LBS. by my first race in May.
2006 I am to complete 1 International/Oly sized Triathlon
By 12/31/2006 I am to weigh 250 LBS.
2007 I am to complete 1 Half IM
12/31/2007 I am to weight in at 210 LBS.
2008 I am to complete my first FULL IM (probably IMFL)

So that is the recap of the goals I had set for myself.In 2005 I raced in eight sprint triathlons and completed seven.

Since the former post of my 2006 race schedule I have been motivated through peer pressure and kindness from the BRtri Club to complete a Half IM in 2006 so that I can complete my FULL IM in 2007 instead of 2008. After much deliberation and prayer . . .

I will race in a half Iron-man in 2006
I will race in IMFL in 2007


Feb. 1-5 Multisport.com training campSan Diego CA

April 2 T-Gator Series tri at Lake Charles LA

April 22 Louisiana Tri at New Roads Sprint

May 21 Memphis in May Int/Oly Triathlon Memphis TN

June 10 Buster Britton Sprint Tri Pelam AL

June ? Yam City Sprint Triathlon Opelousas LA

July ? Disco Triathlon - Sprint Dallas TX

July ? Abitaman #3 - Sprint New Orleans LA

July 23 Tri-America Int/Oly Tri Louisville KY

August 6 Rivercities Tri – Sprint Shreveport LA

Sept. 10 Cajun Man – Sprint tri Lafayette LA

Spet. 24 Disney World Int/Oly tri Orlando FL

Sept. 24 Meat Pie - Natchitouches (I am unable to do because of Walt Disney tri)

Oct. 1 Tri-Andy's Tri - Sprint Houston TX

Oct. 29 Ironstar HALF IRON MAN Conroe TX

I hope all of my friends and family in the Kentucky Ohio area can make plans to come down to Louisville for the race in July.Notice I am doing 3, yes THREE International size triathlons in 2006! THEN ENDING THE YEAR WITH A HALF IRON MAN IN TEXAS!!!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005


2 weeks ago I began thinking about going to IMFL. I have been swamped at work with a million things to get done for my clients before the Holidays. I continued to remind myself that on my long-term goals is the IMFL in 2008. Finally I bit the bullet and chose to go. After leaving Shreveport Louisiana at 3:00 PM Thursday afternoon I arrive in Panama City FL at 6:25 AM to see the sun come up. I had an animal I had to take into the 24 hours Vet. inside that drive, she is ok now so my vet tells me, we'll pick he rup today.

Needless to say, when I awoke at noon Friday I was regretting my travels.Walked around the race venue, man was it awesome. I spent too much on hats and other crap. watched as people dropped their gear off. The looks on their faces . . . very difficult to determine whether it was anxiety, fear, or hostility? Some were smiling and kidding around and the other 3,000 were oe of the above.

After dinner at Pineapple Willies and one too many "pineapple willies" Drinks we went to Wally World and bought out their poster board, paint, and wooden dowel sticks. I began at around 10:30 PM with a mound of creative juices flowing as I created my master pieces such as:


Run Doggie Run!

Geaux Timbeaux Geaux!

As 1:30 AM was approaching I settled with a simple:


At one point Amanda woke up and asked why I was still up and made some comment like, "they will understand if you need sleep ad can't make all those signs."I explained that in each race I did, one of these guys (and gals) was there for me. Doggie at Yam City hollering RoadDog as I swam. Special K at the Disco tri making me feel better for my DNF, Susan at ULL giving props to my bike, Vanilla at Meat Pie waiting around for my finish, so on and so on, no way was I stopping.

I was beat. Did I mention the place Amanda and I stayed was nice but the bed was a full and then it was on rollers!

I move a lot in my sleep. We would wake up and the bed would be half way across the room.

I drove out and hammered about 15 signs out along the course and kept one for each racer to go along with us the next day. We painted my excursion with BTtri on one side and the IM logo on the back, we'll see how that comes off today.I was really feeling bad when I got back to our condo around 3:15 am.


5:45 AM . . . time to roll!

I roll out of the bed which has made it into the kitchen and take a shower, eat a bagel, grab the rest of the posters, wake-up, and head to the truck.

After loading the truck with Gatorade, signs, dowels, rubber mallet (I left the sidewalk paint in the room) I was off to watch the race.

Amanda and I were right on the beach next to the race start hotel, great place to stay for the race. We watched the start and then went back to the tents with the hats and crap, we and when I say we, I mean I, I bought more crap. We looked around saw some really cool stuff I can't wait to get when I can fit into them in about 125 LBS.

I called GW to see where they were , but couldn't ever get to them, it was crazy.

I was walking up on the race hotel just as a guy came out of the breezeway running to his bike. hit feet went out from under him and he crashed, I MEAN CRASHED onto his left side so hard that my shoulder began to hurt. He just laid there in pain as the medics attended to him.

One woman as she was entering the breezeway to change into her bike gear saw her husband who was standing right next to me. She ran up to him and they made out for a good 2 minutes! I don't mean hugging or a little peck on the cheek, I mean full french action a little groping going on by him, the whole 9 yards! I believe if I hadn't yelled out of the side of my mouth "get a room" they might still be there.

On a Chris Boggs note, I saw many formerly large folk doing the race as well as a few still larger folk (none chris boggs sized but . . ) doing the race. Kudos and I was pumped.

I saw out of the corner of my eye and person coming out of the water and it freaked me out at first just because of the "different" factor. There was a woman racing with a prosthetic leg. I saw her again on the run and I teared up a little. Man! Inspiration is such a small non-descriptive word when trying to put into words what she did for me.

Vanilla and Doggie came out of the swim one behind the other and looking good to me. Susan was smiling, I couldn't find Special K, she probably slipped through where the bushes were about 3 feet tall or something??????

I wasn't feeling too hot so I ran back to our room and grabbed a Gatorade. UMMMMM.

Amanda and I met NippsKonaboyBrianna, GW, PatO at the local Waffle House. Gotta love the Waffle House. I think a party at GW's is in order for one two things:

1. Celebrate the racers of Kona and IMFL

2. Watch the interviews that PatO and NippsKonaboyBrianna were doing of all the local and race fans. Classic.

As I walked in they were attempting an incredible interview with Rachel, the waffle house waitress about pre race nutrition. So many of us are looking to answers on this crucial subject and only they knew where to go for the answers!

After a lovely meal at the Waffle House it was to put on our game face and go cheer cheer cheer!!!!!!!!!!!In my vehicle the starting line-up was:

In the driver seat #76 CHRIS BOOOOOOOOOOOGS!
In the passenger seat #24 Amanda BOOOOOOOGS!
In the back puling up the rear # 8 head - PAT OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
and last but not least # 50 cent - CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

We were ready to ball baby!

I had plotted out three places to see them pass and I was so wrong.

As we headed to spot # 1 I was informed they would be well past that spot so after a U-Turn (SORRY TO THE VANILLA FAMILY FOR HAVING TO PUT UP WITH MY DRIVING) we headed to spot #2.

On our way to the #2 spot we passed Doggie and Vanilla. Doggie was crushing it on the bike. I must say I was excited and impressed. We screamed at him and all that jazz and powered ahead in the diesel .

Then we saw Vanilla. After almost scaring him and the three guys drafting him off the road, with the horn and screaming by the "CREW" all he was doing was smiling. HE said he felt good and wanted to know where Doggie was. He looked really strong at that point. That was at about mile 55.

We got to mile 70 where we set up camp. Posters ready, thank you MANDA for putting the dowels and duct tape on the posters. We hammered the signs in and awaited the racers.Vanilla and Doggie were literally in one another’s jocks. They made the turn almost together. Where we were, we were able to see them pass twice (great planning Chris Boggs!) so as they made the turn we would wait for them to come back which is where we would accost them and chase them holding up signs with their names on them. WOOO HOOOO!

One by one we watched them power on.

Timbeaux scared PAT O at one point. We didn't even see him, then as he was passing by Pat O he said "Pat Obrien" very matter of factly, it was quite funny, to me at least.

Susan looked strong and pissed at the same time. I am not sure if she was having a very good time, but she was hammering it. Special K was charging ahead, I think a little embarrassed when we were hollering and screaming her name! WOOO HOOOO! I needed a few beers at this point.

The one thing that really sucked at this intersection was the police officers. They really needed a crash course on directing traffic. They would literally send a vehicle on as a pack of riders were approaching, then they would yell at the driver for not going fast enough on their command. There were several moments I thought it was going to be bad.

After everyone had passed us at this point it was off to meet them at the run!


We caught everyone but Vanilla and Doggie on our chase. We would pull up beside them and hoot and holler. Give some words of encouragement, offer them a ride, and then move on to the the next racer.We saw Jonnie and their CREW at one of the turns, they were doing it up!!!!!!

I think the BR tri club had the bestest support crews of IMFL.

We selected as spot to camp out for the run and JUST AS WE ARRIVED THERE Vanilla goes running by as we cheered and chatted. He said he felt good at that point.

We had a blast at our new campsite. We pulled out the chairs and began our ROAD PAINTING endeavour.

Thanks to Amanda for driving back to our condo to get the sidewalk paint set that I forgot.

We set out painting the road for our racers. Pat O and I created the picasso and everyone else added to it with names etc. I think we should put that picture on the wesite, but that's just me . . .

After about 2 hours and seeing all of our folks run by the first time on the loop I decided we needed nutrition so I called up DOMINOS and ordered a couple large pizzas and way too many 2 litters . . . In 35 minutes Dominos delivered and we were happy.

Nipps and Pat O were interviewing the loacls and the mullets were out in full force!

At one point I had the Gatorade EMPTY bottle throwing challenge. This is where there was a garbage can aproximatley 30 yards from us and with the wid behind us the challege was to get the EMPTY bottle into the garbage. Many doubted even getting close with such distance, but I would not be denied.

After lining up and taking the slight turn in the wind in account I lofted the bottle high! I came down 3 feet to the left but distance was right on target!

As I went to pick the bottle up and put it into the garbage can a local female WITH MULLET!

The women in Panama had mullets too!

Said to me, "you better be glad you didn't hit my truck."

I informed her that while my friends that I was cheering on were master Ironman compertitors, I was a master Gatorade chunking king and had won national competitions doing so.

She didn't find this funny.

As I walked back to the "CREW" I thought to myself, what if the EMPTY bottle that weighed in at possibly 2 ounces had hit her truck??? The damage it would have caused!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then Brianna made an excellent point that she had plenty reason to be protective of her fine automobile, the 76 GMC!!!!!!!

Oh we had fun!

After filling our tummy’s and cheering a lot more for everyone most of the crew headed to the finish line. They were getting ready to maul the BR tri finishers!

Amanda and I hung back to root on the few remaining BR tri members one their first loop.

After seeing Special K and FitBird heading back out on the last loop it was time for me to head back to the CONDO.

Sorry to all for not meeting you at the finish.

As we were getting ready to leave and go to the finish line my body gave out on me. I hadn't slept in many a day and all the driving had taken its toll.

We went back to the condo to change and I became violently ill. It was puke fest in the Boggs Condo and continued throughout the night until I didn't have the strength to get out of the bed and puke. No I didn't drink anything, except Gatorade and a couple sprites.

Sorry I wasn't there. You guys rocked and I am so so so so so proud of you.I had a lot of fun hanging with DA Crew!!!!!

I can't wait till next year!


Thursday, November 03, 2005

2006 race schedule

2006 Triathlon Race Schedule

I am preparing for an eventful year in 2006. I have lofty goals and no fear! Let’s have a recap and then I will list my schedule for the entire year.

I plan to be down to 300 LBS. by my first race in May.
2006 I am to complete 1 International/Oly sized Triathlon
By 12/31/2006 I am to weigh 250 LBS.
2007 I am to complete 1 Half IM
12/31/2007 I am to weight in at 210 LBS.
2008 I am to complete my first FULL IM (probably IMFL)

So that is the recap of the goals I had set for myself.
In 2005 I raced in eight sprint triathlons and completed seven.

Feb. 1-5 Multisport.com training camp
San Diego CA
May 21 Memphis in May Int/Oly Triathlon
Memphis TN
June 10 Buster Britton Sprint Tri
Pelam AL
June ? Yam City Sprint Triathlon
Opelousas LA
July ? Disco Triathlon - Sprint
Dallas TX
July ? Abitaman #3 - Sprint
New Orleans LA
July 30 Tri-America Int/Oly Tri
Louisville KY
August ? Rivercities Tri – Sprint
Shreveport LA
August ? Tri Andy’s Tri – Sprint
Houston TX
Sept. ? Cajun Man – Sprint tri
Lafayette LA
Spet. 24 Disney World Int/Oly tri
Orlando FL
Oct. ? Meat Pie sprint tri
Natchitoches LA

I hope all of my friends and family in the Kentucky Ohio area can make plans to come down to Louisville for the race in July.

Notice I am doing 3, yes THREE International size triathlons in 2006!

Monday, October 31, 2005

The day I thought my toes fell off!


This was a great race. My goal 3:05. I know that is a really bad time, but for me I would have been happy with it.

Amanda and I had to go to Morgan City Louisiana Saturday night for a client retirement party. One of my newest and coolest clients. We departed there and arrived in Natchitoches around midnight.

Daylight savings, a good thing to remember.

I set the alarm for 4:30 am and hit the sack. I have got to figure out how to sleep the night before a race. I literally wake every 30 minutes and look at the clock. This night was no different. Finally 4:30 arrives I wake, turn off the alarm, and head to the shower. I feel a little tired and sluggish so I decided to take a really cold shower.

As I am leaving to load my bike and double check my gear, I notice no one has left for the race as of yet and that there is not one sign of life milling around. Hmmm? I go back to the room, turn on the weather channel, 36 degrees, YES! But, the time says 3:50 am?

Then I remember.

I put on my biking shorts and hp back into the sack, then reset the alarm for 4:40am.

I rise, eat my banana and wake Amanda. She hates waking up this early, but she puts on a champs face for me.

I go back out and start the truck for her and my sister Natalie and my very good friend Mitchell. They are cold weather haters. I see Mitch on the way back in and couple other folks preparing for the race.

It is cold. I don’t mean chilly, I mean cold. I sweat in all circumstances. I was sweating this morning, but the problem with that was, I was freezing because of it. My toes were purple.

There were a lot of BRtri club members there and a few other friends. Butters from the BR Rugby team was there. He did his first Half IM last weekend. Go Butters! And then I spent a little while talking to Mike Pate, my mentor of the tri world.

Time to race.

As I stood there on the plank awaiting my entrance to the so called 72 degree waters I felt my feet disappear from my body. I checked to make sure they were there . . . They were, but my brain didn’t know it. I was laughing at people (on the inside) when they would jump into the water. I would see them jump in and then begin to flail around a bit, or side paddle, or breast stroke. I kept thinking to myself, “these guys are struggling already?”

Then it came, my time, my time to shine, my time to jump in a swim right off the get go with my newly trained “Fitbird” stroke from the Nat. I get back run forward, jump, hit the water feet first! I come up for air . . .

I CAN’T BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

I try and move my arms, but they are saying to me, “Screw you man, we’re outaa here!”. As I wrestled with my state of mind, I realized that I might be drowning! It was so COLD!!!!!!!!!!!!! I stopped moving all together and collected my thoughts. I said to myself, relax, the freak’n water is only 4 feet deep. I began to breathe slowly and breast stroke. Yes, like ALL the others I had seen hit the water before me.

After about 300 m into it, everything was fine. When I say fine, what I mean is, I couldn’t feel a thing! I put in a 23 minute swim on 800m. I wanted 19 minutes, but didn’t happen. Out of the water and to the bike.

I ran for the first time!

I said to myself that this race I was going to push it hard. I think I did, but I’m not sure. But, I did run from the water to the bike, where most of the time I walk it trying to gain strength.

This was the first race that I didn’t wear my signature Bermuda swim trunks. I decided to wear my cycling shorts the whole race. I really helped. I had the two fastest transition time of my short career BY FAR. My T2 (bike to run) transition was 2 minutes.

I jumped on the bike and immediately began to cuss (on the inside). It was cold, my toes were frozen and right after you get on the bike, I mean immediately after, you have to climb a little hill with no MO! (momentum) I was not happy. After almost riding off the hill into the grass I began to buckle down and Vanilla, a bad azz racer in of club was hollering at me to push it and pedal. I did and I made it up the hill.

The bike.

I am not exaggerating when I say my toes were frozen. After mile 4 or 5, I stopped worrying about them. Either they were going to fall of or not, I wasn’t stopping to find out.

The course was a little hilly, mostly rolling but, it still sucked because of how cold I was.

I am looking forward to losing more and more weight. I have lost 39 lbs so far the season (since May) and I plan to be down another 70 lbs. before my first race next year. That would put me right at about 300 lbs. I would have lost 105 lbs in one race season.

The reason I say that is because it is hard enough to do these races, but to have to pedal a bike while your knees are banging your belly having to lift your fat in order to make a full cycle, that takes its toll after while. I’m getting there.

The road was bumping in the beginning and end, but really smooth for the bulk of it.

Into the transition to the run my legs were sore, very sore. The insides where that muscle attaches to the knee area, burning.

I had the best transition of my life! I was in out and running. I have never done that and it was great.

As I was leaving the transition area I saw most of my fellow club members all ready digging into the meat pies, jambalaya, and beer. MMMMMMMMM, Beer.

I asked Matt for a bite of his jambalaya as I ran by, but he wasn’t prepared for that particular aid style service, so I trotted on.

Just as we had to bike up a little hill on the bike, we had to run up stairs to begin the run. Half way up OI felt great, then the legs cramped up in the same spot as the bike, were the large muscle attaches on the inside of the knee. So I walked about 200 yards over the bridge loosening them up.

The run was great. Lots of shade. Flat. I couldn’t ask for anything else, EXCEPT for maybe one thing.

It would have been nice to feel my feet. I felt as though I were Dempsey, the great SAINTS field goal kicker with half of a foot. My foot would come down, but I wouldn’t be able to tell it until about my heal. This went on for the first mile and a half until it slowly began to thaw.

About two and a half miles into it, I began to feel my foot, but not the toes.

Again I tried to push myself to the limit. I walked very little and when I did I immediately began looking for my “return to running” spot 50 yards or so ahead. I was struggling. My run looks like most peoples leisurely walk.

As I came into view of the transition area from across he river, I could hear my wife, Mitchell and Natalie screaming for me. Man what a feeling. One to hear that encouragement and two knowing I am so close to the finish!

I turned the corner and hit the bridge towards the finish. I could hear them giving away awards over the PA. I wished I was there to see so many of my club members accept awards. One day I will make it there in time for that. I trotted along with a purpose of finishing and beating my goal of 3:05:00. It was 3:01:02 when I turned onto to the last road before the finish. I saw Clay from our club run up the hill to root me on and push me AND THEN I heard them announce he had won or placed or something. I was very happy for him

I tried to kick up my snail pace and I did and it hurt. As I turned to run down the hill we rode up on the bike I looked at my watch and it said 3:03:59.

CRAP! I was trying to keep a smooth run going but it was hard going down that little hill. I was about 25 yards away and I was freaking because I was not getting anywhere fast!!!!!

As I got close to the finish I looked at my watch again, 03:04:40. I knew I was going to make it but, I wasn’t positive so I tried to go faster and I know I must have looked like a dork, but my legs just wouldn’t go along with the plan.

I crossed at (according to my watch) 03:04:56.

I sat down. I drank some liquids. I talked to Butters for a second. Clay came over and then I saw Matt. They congratulated me. I thought about taking a nap.

After about 5 minutes or so I walked over JUST AS they were announcing the BRtri and won the State Champ trophy AGAIN!!!!

I know I didn’t have anything to do with it, but it felt good to be apart of the group as it always does.

We have great racers and great people in our club.

That is my season. I had a total of 7 races, one DNF, and a lot of great experiences. I’m looking forward to next season.

Thanks to all that have been so supportive in this endeavor of mine.

God Bless!

Monday, October 17, 2005

Training Schedule - Oct. 17 - 23rd

Mon: OFF

Tue: Run 20 min - walk 10 min- run 20 min- walk 10 min- run 20 min- walk 10 min

Wed: Swim 1500m

Thur: Bike 1.5 hr

Fri: Swim 2000

Sat: Run 15 min

Sun: ULL Sprint Tri - 300m swim, 10 mile bike, 2.5 mile run

2theadvocate > Features > BR teen completes triathlon 10/17/05
101705 features112theadvocate.comThe crowd erupted when Lindsey and Wendy Ellis crossed the finish line in a dramatic, surprise finish in just under two hours.-->
BR teen completes triathlon
Advocate staff writer

Wendy Ellis, left, and Lindsey Ellis prepare to cross the finish line at the Crab Trap Triathlon in Destin, Fla. The Team Ellis members had more than 30 family members and supporters cheering for them as they competed. The crowd erupted when Lindsey and Wendy Ellis crossed the finish line in a dramatic, surprise finish in just under two hours.
More than 30 family members, friends and fans of "Team Ellis," not to be missed in their lime green and hot pink T-shirts, cheered, clapped, yelled and cried as the 45-year-old woman and her 18-year-old niece completed the Crab Trap Triathlon two weekends ago in Destin, Fla. A few feet from the finish line, Wendy Ellis pulled her niece from her trailer, supported her from behind and, together, they walked across the line.
Lindsey Ellis, a junior at Arlington Preparatory Academy here, has cerebral palsy and is confined to a wheelchair. She can only walk short distances with assistance. Wendy Ellis, a physical education teacher in Pensacola, Fla., has been competing in marathons for the past five years and training intensely for this triathlon for the past several months.
"There were a few tears shed," Wendy Ellis said about the end of the race. "Lindsey and I had been planning the surprise for a while and I think it really touched a lot of people."
The two, who were first profiled in a People story in July, originally planned to compete in the Santa Rosa Island Triathlon in September. When that was cancelled because of Hurricane Rita, they switched their focus to the Crab Trap Triathlon which featured a 10-mile bike ride, 3-mile run and 400-yard swim in the Gulf of Mexico.
Outfitted with special equipment funded through a $10,000 grant from Balance Bar, they used a custom-designed convertible trailer that could be pulled by bike or hand, and an inflatable boat to pull through the water.
"I liked the swimming part best," Lindsey Ellis said. "The dolphins were swimming alongside us. It was all fun for me. I was just along for the ride." Teased by her stepfather, Andy Leavy, she admitted that she also enjoyed attention from the lifeguards.
The swim was easy compared to the cycling part of the race, Wendy Ellis said. "Pulling the trailer was kind of like pulling an open parachute behind my bicycle. I can pedal 20 miles an hour without the trailer. I'm lucky if I can do 10 miles an hour with it. Lindsey weighs 85 pounds, and the trailer weighs 32 pounds. I weigh 119 pounds, so I was pulling almost my body weight."
The 3-mile run came last. With adrenaline coursing through her body, Wendy Ellis said she was not even tired at the end of the race. The pair had met its goal, which was not to win, but to finish the race.
"I wasn't nervous. I was excited," Lindsey Ellis said. "But, when I finally stood up with Aunt Wendy, I was stiff as a board."
Many of the race participants who finished ahead of Team Ellis stayed to watch them cross the line. The winner had his picture taken with Lindsey Ellis and said that she was his inspiration. Team Ellis also won a special award and plaque in the team category.
"I'm just so proud of her," Bill Ellis said of daughter Lindsey. "I tell you, she inspired me. I started running again. I have a long ways to go, but maybe by this time next year, I'll be running with her."
Her grandparents have also taken up running, and her mother and stepfather are "talking about it."
As for Lindsey and Wendy Ellis, both said they are already looking forward to the next race. They plan to compete in the Santa Rosa Island Triathlon next April and are looking for an event to enter in the Baton Rouge area.
"Three hurricanes and two tropical storms couldn't stop us," Wendy Ellis said. "If Lindsey's story can inspire other people, that's what it's all about. We're a team and we're ready to go again."
Printer Friendly Version Send this story to a friend

Monday, October 10, 2005

Before Picture - 10-10-2005

Next Photo post on 11-10-2005

Back Shot

Front Shot

Side Shot

Training Schedule week of Oct. 10th

Monday: OFF

Tuesday: Run 15 min. - walk 20 min. - Run 15 min. - walk 20 min.

Wednesday: Swim 10 min. warm up - Swim 10 min HARD - swim 10 min. cool down
Weight training

Thursday: Bike 15 min. warm up - 15 min above race pace - 15 min cool down

Friday: Swim 10 min. warm up - Swim 20 min. above race pace - swim 10 min cool down
Weight training

Saturday: Bike 15 min. warm up - 40 min at race pace - Run 10 min - walk 20 min.

Sunday: Run 25 min. - Walk 20 min. - Run 25 min. - walk 20 min.

Feel free to call me out, make sure I am training.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

You're Daddy is so fat . . .

"Ofosu Yeboah and Jim MacLaren"

Again and Again and . . . Again!

YUMMY! I eat.

I eat a lot.

I have a beautiful wife, healthy, thin, tall, beautiful so I am so sorry for our future children. The other little kids won’t tell “Momma, fat jokes”. They’ll tell “Daddy fat jokes!” I can hear it now . . .

“Yo Daddy is so fat, that he eats Wheat THICKS!”

“Yo Daddy is so fat, when he wears a yellow rain coat, people yell TAXI!!!”

“Yo Daddy is so fat he had to go to Sea World to get Baptized!””

And this is just one of the reasons that I will not be fat in one year. It is not going to be easy. I have fallen off of the wagon several times since I began this adventure almost four months ago. I have lost a little and I have gained it back, I have eaten healthy for a month or so and killed it in a week! I have exercised consistently for three weeks and then I have not seen a running shoe near my feet for three.

No one said this was going to be easy. As a matter of simple fact, I think it is clear that everyone knows it will be quite difficult. I think it will be.

I began this trek to healthiness weighing in at 406 pounds. I weighed literally right now and I come in at 388 pounds. A month ago I was at 376 pounds. Talk about a Yo-Yo!

It has been difficult the past few weeks here in Baton Rouge. My home town of New Orleans, 55 miles away has been destroyed by Hurricane Katrina and Rita, but worse, it is being demolished by politicians in Washington. The city I love will never be quite the same and I fear it may be radically different if the politicians have their way. It is sad. And to a man of compassion, which I am to a fault, seeing all that is happening around me is emotionally draining.

So I eat. Then, the more I eat, the worse I feel about myself. The more I eat the less I want to go out and exercise because the worse I feel and the more I see myself as a grotesque, fat, lazy bum. Maybe I am? You know. I am not trying to be funny. Is it possible that I am grotesque? Is it possible that I not only feel fatter, but I do look that much fatter? Am I lazy? I could answer yeas to each of those questions.

Now . . .

Can I stop? This is the much more difficult question. Can I stop these actions that are killing me? Is it possible to turn around my current trends and patterns and renew my thinking patterns so that my kids won’t be made fun of because their Daddy is grotesque, fat and lazy?

Only time will tell. But I am running out of time. We are running out of time.

I know it is difficult to go into public as we are. I feel you when we walk into a restaurant and as the good looking size 4 hostess walks towards the booth with the table that won’t adjust; we cringe as we ask her for a table. “SHE KNOWS WHY!!” We scream to ourselves.

I know people stare at us as we are walking or jogging on the side of the road in our subdivisions, but that’s ok.

I must accept who I am right now. I am a fat man. I am an unhealthy man. I am a man with no direction. I am lazy to a fault. This is who I am right now. I have to know myself to change myself. I must realize who I am before others do so that I feel comfortable in my own skin.

If I can realize who I am with all of my faults, then whatever others think about me is arbitrary, because once I know myself, then I can begin to find the self I want to be.

I am going to make a list of all of the things I am right now. I am going to make another list of all of the things I want to be. Not a second list of what I don’t want to be, since I am sure all of that will be covered on my who I am right now list.

I am going to post that list for all of you. I want you to help me be that man.

I have fallen again, but I am getting back up.

Do you know what the funny or maybe it is the ironic thing about all of this is?

I am the only one who can get in my way here. The only person that can keep me from being the ma I want to be . . . Is me. Sure others can hinder me. Others can intentionally and unintentionally set me back, but none of those people picks up a fork and put s food o it and puts it in my mouth and moves my jaws back and forth until I swallow.

Until that happens . . . It’s all about me.

I’m back.

There are 12 months until I compete in my first Olympic size triathlon in Florida. Twelve months. I am in control. No one else. God allows me to choose, while he is in control of all things, he lets me find my own way. Twelve months.

Make your own lists. Who are you right now?

Who will you become?

I know you will become great. I am going to and I want you to come along with me.

God Bless

Monday, September 19, 2005

Motivation! Motivation?

Motivation comes in many packages . . .

It was a long drive to Sugarland Texas. It wasn’t as long as I had expected, but it was still long enough to make my legs ache a little. I have got to learn to stop and stretch during my long drives and not drive straight through.

I met my Cousin, Michael at his place in Houston on Saturday. Michael had just flown in from France and had literally not slept in 24 hours. He sat next to a child that didn’t allow him to close his eyes at all. This would be his first triathlon and what better way to introduce yourself to the sport than with no sleep!

We went to the packet pick up in Sugarland. We parked and as we were walking up to the place we were met by Mr. Outside Voice. A gentleman, maybe five foot 6 inches with grey hair cut in a crew cut style, welcomed us LOUDLY. I first thought he was speaking so loudly because we were outside, but then we went inside . . . hence why I named him Mr. Outside Voice. He was very motivated to be there and do his job, which he did very well. He was very nice and helpful and you never had to ask him to repeat himself.

After picking up our packets and buying a pair of tri shorts for Michael, we decided to drive the bike course. NICE. Very flat, smooth roads, shaded roads for the most part. I don’t think I could have asked for much better.

I was concerned about this race since the only other race I had done in the great state of Texas, I DNF’d (Did Not Finish). However, after driving the bike course and the run course I felt much better about this Texas race.

We arrived early as I like to for the race. Michael was not sure why we would get up at 3:30 in the morning for a race that didn’t begin until 7:30 AM. It was a 40 minute drive to the site from his house and I just like to get there first to set up and breathe a little of the stress out.

It was already hot at 5:45 AM. I began to panic a bit. I was sweating like I did at the race I DNF’d. I was feeling jittery which wasn’t helping matters either. I set up my transition, looked around for Michael and relaxed as best as I could. I checked out Michael’s Transition and he was ready.

Motivation comes in many packages. As I was setting up there was a woman who was doing her first triathlon. She had no idea what she was doing. She didn’t know how to rack her bike or anything. I was happy to help her. It was motivation to me to be able to do that, since I felt experienced. At this point I haven’t checked her number to see how she did, I hope she did great.

As the race came to start we lined up along the pool in order of our race number. I was in the middle. I really need to work on my swimming. I am decent but, not good. There was a really cool woman about two or three numbers behind me. I knew I was going to be trampled by her in the swim, she looked like a monster in the pool and I was scared. She had a silver one piece tri suit with pigtails. About lap one and a half she woooooshed by me like silver streak. I was humbled. About three other passed me but, they were fast, very fast.

The comical part of the race was the exit from the pool. If only I could have been a spectator instead of a participant. I was about to jump up and swing my leg over and roll out of the pool when a nice gentleman offered me his hand and assistance getting out of the pool. I though for a second . . . Does this guy know how big I am? However, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and grabbed hold tightly. Another man noticed my girth and ran over I latched on to his hand as well. Now it becomes interesting. There are two rather strong men utilizing every muscle in their body to pull this 376 pound man out of the water. Both of my feet a secured on the side of the pool and by this time the blood vessels in the men’s heads are showing and the redness in their faces becomes alarming to me. I think at one point they were close to giving up but then they realized that my grip was strong and my will was great and if they gave up, a swim was in their future. So they bucked up and gave a last groan and up I went!

Transition was slow, but deliberate.

There is not much to say about the bike. It was flat, I was happy.

Transition was fastest I think of any so far.

Oh the run. I mean the walk run, walk run, walk run. Those Texans, they sure know how to get a guy moving. I was wearing a new shirt since the dark navy blue one that I have been wearing soaks up every ounce of sun. So I have on an LSU shirt (Go Tigers) and LSU became my name during the run. I loved it.

“Come on LSU, let’s go!”, was the most commonly utilized motivational cadence I heard. I also heard plenty of “GO TIGERS!” So it seemed there were a few LSU fans in attendance.

One of the volunteers ran up next to me and told me very sincerely, “Man, you are my hero, I mean it, you are awesome.”

Now let me ask you, how could you give up after hearing that. I had a really bad pain in my foot, right in the front padding. It felt like it was actually tearing. I was in pain. It seems that is the case in each race, but the pain just seems to rotate around my body!

I was about 1 ½ miles into the run and I was closing into what I thought was the last leg of the race. You see Michael and I drove what we thought was the run course . . . NOT! As I turn a corner thinking I go right and then into the last nice shaded finish a volunteer directs me to the left.

THE LEFT?!!!! LEFT???!!!! What? I was struggling quite badly with the foot, but I turned left and gimped on. The volunteer that told me to go left hollered out to me. “Only 2 miles left, you’re doing great!”

2 MILES!!! What!?? I thought I was in the last mile easy, but that turned out not to be the case. And again, on I gimped.

Motivation comes in many packages.

Before I go into the most motivational piece of the race I want to share what I have shared in many of my writings. The Triathlete community is awesome. I have never met a group of individuals so supportive and motivating than in this group of multi-sporters. I don’t think I have met a kinder, nicer group of people. They make call you out when you’re slumping, but they will be there to help you get going again. I never want to deter anyone considering beginning the life of triathlons. It is a wonderful sport with unbelievable people in it.

On to the ultimate motivation of my day.

As I was entering the last left of the run about 500 yards to the finish I couldn’t feel my foot. That was a good thing. I was running so slow I was actually losing time! Many people were cheering me on and I was loving it.

It was so hot.

As I was about 25 yards from the finish this guy says to me, “Come on tiny!” Now, first off the tiny thing kinds stung. Anyone that knows me can clarify to you, I am anything but, tiny

I took it in stride and continued to struggle on when I heard the same guy as I had just passed him say to whom every he was with, “If that fat M*ther F*cker can do one of these things, I sure can.”

I was so angry!

I wanted to turn around and spit on him!

Instead I began to run faster and because of that I beat the time I wanted to finish in by over 2 minutes! I thought about going back and saying something to him. I thought about going back and knocking the . . . But, I didn’t.

I told myself that next year I was going to come and do this race and wear the same LSU shirt and hope that guy was there and he could see me 50 to 75 pounds lighter and I would get mine. Even though he would still probably say things that aren’t so kind.

I am not putting this in here for sympathy or to get people fired up at an unknown rude individual.

This is for my friends that are trying to better themselves and become healthy. I am a very fat man. I get looks left and right, up and down at races. I get comments of all sorts. If looks could speak I would be interested to hear them. It happens. But racers who may look at you out of the corner of their eye and question why you are here to race, those are the first ones to congratulate you and show excitement for you when you have finished.

You will get weird looks. You will hear comments. You may even have some rude jerk who comes right out and shows his ignorance as I did in this race, but the one thing you must remember is this.

You are tri-ing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The next thing you must remember is that those who are racing next to you respect you and are rooting for you and their respect is the respect that truly means something, not some loser standing on the sidelines.

It is so awesome these days when I am setting up my transition area and a fellow racer asks me if this is my first triathlon. I love to gently smile and tell them, “no, this will be my 6th.”

YOU CAN DO IT. I am with you. Struggling, sweating, hurting, and laughing! Let’s get healthy.

Until next time . . .

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Hurricane Katrina

Due to the recent hapenings in my home city of New Orleans, I have been lacking in my blog writing duties.

It is sad and what what you see on TV is no the full picture, allthough I did stop watching News about a week ago.

Look for a weight post and new blog soon!

Please keep us in your prayers.

Tri-ing Fat Man

Monday, August 15, 2005

These past few weeks have been quite stressful.

There are many things going on at work. Work causes stress at home. Stress at home causes stress for my wife. Stress for my wife causes stress for her family. Stress for her family . . . That again causes stress for me.

In all of this it has been easy to drop out of sight and out of mind. I have fallen off the wagon. I have not trained in over a week. I have made several excuses. Even this morning I had my running gear all set out for me to run at 5:45am. Alarm went off. I hit the snooze twice. I finally rose from the bed about 6:00am, than just slumped on the couch and turned on Sport Center.

The whole time I am watching TV, I get more frustrated with myself. I try and make excuses even so I don’t feel like a failure.

Amanda wakes. She asks me if I am feeling OK. I told her I felt sick. I did a little, but more I was just sick of myself. It is not easy failing for the millionth time at this health thing.

You see at times I don’t feel like I have just failed myself.

My Father . . . He has been frustrated with my weight now for many years. He is well fit and strong like bear! I feel like I let him down too when I fail.

My friends that are so behind me and proud of me when I succeed, I feel like I let them down as well.

Then there is the part of me that is just afraid I will never reach my goals. I see myself in the mirror and I question whether I will ever get rid of the extra 200 pounds I need to. If you are fat you know what I mean when I say I look in the mirror. It is amazing how brutal I can be to myself.

Then I begin to think about people who are not fat. I wonder what they are saying to each other when they pass me in their car as I am running? The more I resist training, the more I fret about what I look like and how bad I look trying to run and then I put it off. Smart huh?

Food is an addiction for me. Exercising is fun for me, but I wear down quickly. My body aches for days after a race or hard day of training.

Have you noticed a trend here?

I have listed my fears. I have hit a rut, a bump in the road, fallen of the wagon, what ever you call it. I have stopped my positive momentum towards good health. I was feeling more and more like a quitter and loser, a failure, but something happened.

Something awesome happened.

Those people I was afraid of letting down. They picked me up. Now, I haven’t trained yet, but I have made a promise to them that I would refocus my determination and start back training and completing my goals. Tomorrow I will run. The next day I will swim. The following day I will bike. Then I will do it all over again.

My point is. I have fallen off this wagon a million times before. The difference between the other times and this one is, I am getting right back on it, right away. I am not going to feel sorry for myself. I am not going to take weeks and months to fall back into morbidity and accelerated death.

I am not going to eat badly and say who cares anyway! I am not going to make up reasons for not exercising and training so I feel lees guilty!

I am going to get back on the stick! I am going to start now.

I stopped having fast food for three months! THREE MONTHS!! I had it four times in the last week. I had been drinking only water for months, in the last week I’ve had more sprites and root beers than I care to count!


Why am I putting this all down on a blog for everyone to read?

I am slowly figuring things out about this whole being fat thing.

Here are my latest lessons.

The people in your life that care for you and your health don’t care if you fail, they only care if you quit. We are all going to fail at this. We have been failing at it for years now, some of us all of our lives. We will fail again! When we fail and those who care for us find out that we have failed, they are not going to chastise us! They will not make fun of you. They will not say I told you so. They will not go away!

They will challenge you. They will comfort you. They will motivate you. They will support you even more than they did when you were succeeding! If you don’t believe me, just try it. Wait, better yet, you’ll see because that is my second lesson.

YOU WILL FAIL. Several times. I have failed two or three times since I began training and completing triathlons. I have had set backs and failures. This past week and a half or so had been a major failure. And there will be more.

The key I am learning is, when you fail, first try and understand why. What happened? Was it stress? Did something in your schedule change? Did you let your membership at the YMCA expire and then just blew it off? Where you injured? Is something emotional going on in your life? Write it down, figure what all the reasons are that you might be falling off of the wagon.

Once you have an idea why, you my not be certain, but you have an idea, then try and understand how you can continue to focus on your health and training even under the same circumstances the next time it happens.

Now I realized that about half of what I mentioned in the previous paragraph was happening to me. That may be the same with you? But you can over come it with planning.

Once you have an idea of what happened, get back on the stick!

It’s OK to fail. It’s not OK to quit.

Tell your friends when you’re failing next time.

Then sit back and watch.

That’s my last lesson. I underestimated my friends. You can do the same, but I am sure you’ll get some of the same results as I did this weekend.

I am too afraid to quit now. The threats I received form my friends seemed sincere and I’m not going to test them.

I thank them for that and tomorrow I will run. I will run and run and run. It will hurt and I will sweat . . . A lot. However, I will be happy.

I will be happy because I am back o the wagon again. Just like you. Come on. Get back in it. I’m with you.

I’m with you in our successes and our failures and guess what, there are many more with us.


Saturday, August 06, 2005


Many of you will empathize with me while reading this post. Some of you will sympathize with me, but a few of you will be completely perplexed by this post.

Today I am angry. Yesterday I was angry. This past week I’ve been angry. Angry at myself. I have been in a “rut” concerning my new healthy living enterprise. I made a commitment to myself to become healthy. I committed to exercise, healthy eating, and a new attitude. This past week I failed at each of them. Not just one, two but all three.

I ate very unhealthily, I ate too much, I exercised ONE day, and on top of it all I lost my edge. My edge has been my attitude. There have been days when I have fallen off my wagon and eaten more than I should have or eaten the wrong items for my diet. There have been several days in a row where I have neglected my exercise. I paid the price in a race but, the one thing that didn’t waiver under any circumstance was my attitude. I had a resolve about myself, a mission, a map, determination, and on and on; I called it my healthy attitude. This attitude is what got me up in the morning to run, swim, or bike. This attitude made me think about what I was ordering at a restaurant. This attitude made me drive by Popeye’s fried chicken at 9:00 at night. I am unstoppable with that attitude and it didn’t let me down . . . Until last week.

Losing weight has been the most difficult challenge in my life. I have had difficult challenges, but my weight and health have beaten me down at each confrontation. At times I am afraid of what will happen once I have controlled my weight and reached my goals of set for my health? What will I do? Really? What will I do? If I spend this much time focused on my weight, what will I do with all of that time once I have taken care of it?

I know one thing. I won’t be angry anymore.

You know what the most difficult part of being angry at me is? I want to eat.



Am I punishing myself? It really doesn’t make me feel better. I don’t think of it as comfort. Or maybe I do?


My attitude keeps me focused. When I lost that last week, things went really wrong. I am going to spend today getting that attitude back. I am going to reevaluate my goals. I will, again, write down what I am not going to eat, for example, fast food, fried foods, etc. I am going to examine my training and look at the goals I have set physically.

I am going to pray.

I am going to re-focus and regain that attitude of health and success with this incredible pain I am creating for myself.

Please pray for me and think positive thoughts for me. I will succeed and I will complete my goals, but more importantly I will live to see my children that I will have one day, raise their children.

Thank you all for listening. Thank you for your support. Thank you.

Now, I need to go re-focus.

Weigh In #5 August 06, 2005

(My Personal Trainers)

386 lbs.

Net gain/loss = (-5.4 lbs)

Previous weigh in: 379 lbs. July 10, 2005

Begining weight: 391.4 June 10, 2005

NEXT weigh in: August 5, 2005

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Must have training . . .

This is a funny video, however it is fairly close to the real thing.


http://members.cox.net/tyrichey/Cliff Bar Swim Training.mpg

Monday, August 01, 2005



I was scared, intimidated, and had very low confidence going into this race (see Disco Triathlon post).

My Momma’s first race! Once I got past snapping at her and everyone else who came to the race for me (I’m sorry guys, I was a little . . . well, read the first line over again) I think she ended up having a good time. Her comment was, "You have to come out to see this to fully understand it, it is unbelievable." I am so happy she was able to come.

I want to reiterate what my website is for. It is for motivation for anyone who wants it, with a flair for the obese. I am that, obese. I carry around an extra person in weight on my body and not a small person, but a 200 pound person. I have been ashamed and disgusted with myself for a few years and I am trying to do something about it. You see, this thing, this web thing, is also motivation for me. The emails I get from those of you who read it, the postings (while rare) you all leave, the people that tell me I am motivation to them ALL OF THAT, motivates me to be better, thinner, and happier. So, this is a note to ALL of you that help to motivate me by simply reading and commenting . . . Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I say this now, because you will soon see (in a funny way) that for a fatman in triathlons, the motivation is at times lacking!

July 30, 2005, Saturday. Amanda, My Momma, and I are driving home from LUX (yes I said it) Mississippi where we have our annual family reunion. This is a day of gathering, socializing, and praying for those in our family who need it. I look forward to the event each year and my Uncle Bill works very hard at it and at this event he is in his element.

I am not trying to bore you with family diatribe, but I must lay down the framework, so please bear with me.

My family is at a disadvantage in life. There are two major problems with my family that cause us to suffer needlessly and routinely. First, we all love to eat. Second, people in our family can flat out cook! There were probably 70 family members in attendance, but there was food for 700! It would be different if the food sucked, but oh man, oh man!

All homemade, creamed corn, ham, lima beans, brisket, fried chicken, turkey dressing, 20 different souffl├ęs, green beans, BBQ ribs, macaroni salad, potato salad, on and on and on and on . . . Then, desserts! A whole table just for desserts!

This is not California cook’n either; this is down home southern cook’n. Lard is required in 50% of these recipes and as a substitute the recipe says you can use salted butter, but none of that margarine stuff! This is what I look forward to every year. I know it may sound sad, but it is the truth. I am motivated every year by the food. I love the family, but the food is the seller to make that 2 ½ hour drive to LUX, Mississippi.

Back to the drive home from the reunion.

Amanda and I began to discuss the race the next day and what do you think I began to speak about? You may guess the 750 meter swim in rough water Lake Ponchatrain? Or possibly the 20 mile bike with no shade and possible strong winds? But, maybe you thought we talked about the 3.1 mile run in what was supposed to be an unbelievably hot day? Wrong, wrong, and wrong.

I talked about the after race food! I love red beans and rice. This delectable dish is probably in my top three. Yummy! I told my Momma that it was being prepared by Blue Runner and she informed me that their red beans, while canned, were pretty darn good. We continued speaking about them and the different ways she prepares her red beans and also how a local radio talk show host has a Blue Runner commercial where she talks about adding the holy trinity (celery, onions, green peppers) to her Blue Runner red beans and it comes out better than perfect!

Oh how I was looking forward to completing the race the next day and chowing down on those red beans and rice, umm umm good!

3:45 Am came early. We loaded up and headed to New Orleans. We ran into the Quarter and picked up my Momma and off we go. It was already pretty warm, 80 degrees at 6:00 am.

I set up my transition site and began to stretch lightly. There were a few of my fellow BRtri Club friends there. Rocko, Chris, Matt, Andy E, and Ty.

We headed down to the swim. This is the longest point from water to transition I have seen so far in my short racing career. It was probably 250 to 300 yards up and down hills, over broken oyster shells, and grass. But it was kind of fun, in a weird way. It was a mass start, water had 2 foot waves and there were lots of elbows flying around out there. I came in from the 750m feeling really good, but this scared me since I felt the same way in my last race which I DNF’d (did not finish).

As I was walk/jog/walking to the transition area I had an epiphany. It went something like this; if I go faster I will finish sooner. AH HA!!!!

And . . . I continued to walk to my transition site.

I want people who are considering triathlons to make a mental note here about transitions. For me, they really blow. I can’t stand them. Not because of the changing of gear and clothing, not because you have to worry about other racers knocking your stuff around, none of that makes transitions hard for me.

Down time.

Down time is what makes transitions so difficult for me. I am in the place where I will eventually finish, but I am already here. Why not just . . . stay here? I’m here already? Why not chill?

This is to me something that I, as a fatman must get out of my head. Transitions are not for rest and contemplation. Ah, but once again I saw my little piece of motivation, the blue runner man. Just a stir’n those little red beans. Mmmmm.

So I’m off on my bike. The course is right along the lake and it is actually a nice picturesque route. I was chugging along and noticed I wasn’t feeling a burn at all in my legs, this is very uncommon. I look at my computer . . . I’m going 24 mph. Are you kidding me! Woo Hoo! What could have happened to me? How am I going this fast exerting so little energy? I AM THE MAN! I am somewhere around 4 miles into the ride and I notice, NO ONE is passing me! I am filled with such joy that I start a little song in my head.

OK, hum the Flinston’s song, you know the cartoon. “Flinston’s, we’re the Flinstons . . .

Now put these words in on it: Red beans, red beans and rice, their gonna be so good in my tu-u-mmy! Red Beans, Red beans and rice, I’m gonna be so-o-o ha-a-ppy!

I know it doesn’t fit exactly, but it was working for me at the time.

At about mile 4 we make a loop turn around. I think I almost cried. It wasn’t anything other than; I realized this was all a lie. My happiness . . . a lie. My song writing . . . premature. It was as if I had been punched in the stomach.

You know that 24 mph I was doing, it turned into 12 mph. What I was unaware of was one small little fact. The wind was at my back this whole time. Now, the wind was against me. No more fun ride for me. I began to cramp, ran out of fluids and just wanted to get off my bike and walk home.

I regrouped in my mind. I decided that when the cramp in my leg hamstring became too much I would stop get off the bike, stretch it and then get going again. This worked for me and I soon saw the transition and bike finish.

I want all people to complete triathlons, but I really want fat people to complete them because we need it. So, I will always try and insert the things and situations that cause those of us that are really slow, problems.

As I was pulling into the transition area I realized once again how demoralizing it is to be as slow at this as I am. They had already opened the transition area to everyone. Now the first reason this hurts my psyche is because I get to see all of the people who are finished leave with their bikes, knowing I have to still run. However, I have learned to accept that and enjoy it even thinking of it this way.

My bike transition is like my finish. Hear me out here. There are hundreds of people waiting for me. Now, they may be waiting so they can leave, but . . . their still waiting and they always cheer me on. So it is like my finish.

But this time it was a little dangerous. This is the other part you need to be aware of as a slow competitor. The people in the transition area and those leaving, they don’t realize there is still someone on the course. So they are socializing drinking beer, eating red beans and rice. I had to shout at a few people who were literally in the transition entrance so I could pull in. My new friend Chris might have thought I was yelling at him, but Chris, I wasn’t, it was the people behind you, just kick’n it in the entrance. One person’s dog came up to me while I was putting on my shoes. In some ways it is actually fun.

As I walked to the run start I saw the red beans and rice and a little line of folks waiting for their after race reward or motivation in my case. Ummmm.

I drink a lot of water and energy drinks days before and during a race. I probably consume a gallon of water a day before the race and on race day I go through about 6 squeeze bottles of energy drinks. But for some reason I cramp in the same place all the time. The muscle that starts on the inside of your legs at the knee cap and runs up to the inside of your crotch area. Man do they tick me off.

It was hot.

I probably lost 10 lbs of body water during the run. I walked at least a mile and a half of the 3.1 miles.

Here is another tid bit about being last . . . Way last. The event people rock. They really do. I can’t say enough about how awesome they are and motivating they can be. However, after being out in the heat for 3 hours I can see how they would want to get back and drink a few beers and have some red beans and rice too. So, don’t let it bother you that as you are running the crew is right behind you picking up the cones and loading them as you pass each one. Again, think of it more as your personal escort to the finish line! Woo Hoo!

I run in the last ½ mile. It is not a fast run, but a shuffle run, did I mention it was really hot and I was wearing a dark blue shirt. I am going to find someone who will fabricate clothing for fat tri-athletes. It is the only shirt I could find to fit me that also is of the light mesh, wick material. I would be worse off with a cotton t-shirt. But, have no fear fat people I am going to find someone to suit us up right!

Amanda was waiting for me as she does with apprehension. She has a little clock in here head that if I am not back by the time it goes off, she will begin walking the course to find me. She had made it about 300 yards into the course with the friend of Manatee Express. Manatee is a really cool guy I know from Beginnertriathlete.com he waited for me to finish.

Let me explain what this meant to me. He had to have finished at least an hour and a half before this moment. It was hot. It is a Sunday and there are a lot of things a person can do on a Sunday. But, he waited to see me finish. Thanks man.

In my first triathlon in Birmingham, the Tri-It-On triathlon, there was a guy that was wearing an Army tri suit. He might have known I was ex-military because of my 15 year old tattoo, but none the less he waited for me to finish and cheered me in. Those little things, I will never forget. I will also never leave a race until every person has crossed the finish line. I realized this weekend, how it feels and what it means to me, so if I ever finish with people behind me, no worries, I will wait and cheer you in.

As I top the hill and see the finish line I also notice that the transition area is completely disassembled, except my bike! My Sister Natalie and my Momma are cheering me in, the event staff are cheering me in, the announcer says, “This is what triathlon is all about.” I’m not sure what that means yet, but I am thinking on it. I was on cloud nine.

I finished! I didn’t DNF. I’m BACK! Where’s the red beans and rice?

I looked over where the tent was that held my motivation. Where did he go? Oh no. He was gone. The red beans. The rice.


Last lesson of the day for the fat and slow. I have yet to partake in the post race activities when finishing a race. I was able to in Dallas, because I didn’t finish, but I have yet to enjoy the delicacies and fine beer that so many of my felloe tri club members talk about.

All I think of the rest of the day is the Soup Nazi. “No soup for you!” But, that is ok.

It is still one of my motivators. Now I have decided it will still motivate me to . . .


Then I will be able to enjoy the post race activities.

Thanks to all of my new friends in this sport. You all rock. Thanks to my fellow BRtri Club friends, you guys rock.

I will train hared and finish faster and faster each race. Hold me to it.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Weigh in # 4 july 22, 2005

379.2 lbs.

Net gain/loss = (-12.2 lbs)

Previous weigh in: 378 lbs. July 10, 2005

Begining weight: 391.4 June 10, 2005

NEXT weigh in: August 5, 2005

Abitaman Triathlon


Pray for me, that's all I have to say.

July 31, 2005

Monday, July 11, 2005

Weigh in # 3 july 10, 2005

378 lbs.

Net gain/loss = (-13.4 lbs)

Previous weigh in: 382.4 lbs. June 24, 2005

Begining weight: 391.4 June 10, 2005

NEXT weigh in: July 22, 2005

Sunday, July 10, 2005

I wished I was invisible . . . Or an Ostrich!

It was a horrible day.

Before I get to my day of racing, let me tell you about the few days leading up to it.

My chest was on fire. It was somewhere around 2:00 AM on Tuesday and I couldn’t stifle my coughing. Amanda rolled every time I had an onslaught of deep, coarse, and grizzly coughing episodes.

I am sick. My head is stuffy, my nose is runny, and my lungs are full of fluid. I had a week off of vacation and I was looking forward to relaxation and sun. Instead, I get sick.

I was able to train until Thursday, but after that I was really in a bad spot.

Friday arrives. I leave Florida, where I go on every 4th of July to spend time with my best friend from college http://www.nku.edu/ and his family. Hurricane Dennis is on our heels and there are lines out the wazoo trying to purchase gasoline and the interstate is bumper to bumper. It takes me much longer than usual to get home. I am tired and sick. I take a 20 minute nap and reload for my drive to Dallas Texas.

After a nap that was entirely too short, Pat’o, my friend riding to Dallas with me arrives. We load his gear and bike and “On the Road Again!” as my friend Willie puts it.

From Baton Rouge to Dallas was 6 hours. We arrive around midnight. Straight to bed after a half bottle of Nyquil . . . I’m a big guy!

I rose from my deep, Nyquil induced sleep around 9:00 AM. Pat’o had already risen and was running around the hotel. I showered; (visual) hacked up my lungs in the steam and prepared for the day. I realized I was in trouble and didn’t know what to do. The next day I had to swim 500m, ride 20 miles, and run 3.1 miles. Today I couldn’t breathe.

Pat’o went swimming with Denise, Johnnie, Kristen, and Susan at the local YMCA. I opted out, thinking I would save energy.

At noon we picked up our race packets and then scurried off to lunch. IT SUCKED.

I am attempting to establish a pattern. The pattern is how messed up the days leading up to this race were.

Denise, Pat’o, and I went to a local bike shop to get a computer for me. This bike shop, SUCKED! The technician there blatantly lied to us and if it weren’t for the ingenuity and creativity between Pat’o and me, the $50 computer would have been useless.

We went to dinner, it was ok.

Night time. Sleep time.

I decided to take a sip of Nyquil. Big mistake. Partly for me, more for Pat’o. I knew I had taken a wrong turn when I woke at 5:00 Am. The walk to the bathroom was long and wobbly. I tried to go to the bathroom, no luck. Shower produced more of the previous days hacking.

My stomach was abnormally twisted.

Side story: My favorite TV show is America’s Funniest Home Video’s. I love it! I enjoy laughing and boy do I laugh during this show. During vacation, my friend Mike’s wife Becki brought me the uncensored version of AFV. We watched it together and one of the video’s is a school teacher reading to his pre-school students. It goes like this . . .

“Then the young girl wrote in her diary, I had such . . .” and the teacher is interrupted by a young child and he says, “Diary?” The teacher pauses and says “Yes, she wrote in her diary tha . . .” The child interrupts again, “I remember when I had diary, I had to sit on the toilet for ever.”

OH MAN!!! I just LAUGHED!!!!!!!!

Side story over: So my stomach is twisted. We get to the transition site. I am sweating like a mule. I am not just a little sweaty, I am drenched with sweat. I prepare my site and head for the john. There is a line twenty deep. I was struggling. Then it hit me!

I have Diary!!!!!!!!!

Oh no. Oh no. OH NO!

I get to the front of the line the port-o-let door opens up and I am in there before the poor girl is out. I am sure she was in fear for her life.

I do the pull down and flop onto the seat. Now, most of those close to me know my fear of public pooping. I can’t do it. I have this horrible phobia and this whole port-o-let thing, it is unheard of for me, but right now, didn’t matter.

It is so hot inside of this plastic oven. There is an inch of my sweat on the floor by now. I am dying from my Diary. Oh man! Kill me now. I am in there for 15 minutes, no less.

Then I realize my biggest mistake of the day.

I must have scared the poor girl in here previous to me so badly, that she was unable to tell me . . . THE IS NO TOILET PAPER!

Oh man.

I sit. I think. I sit. I sweat. I sit, I think about yelling out to someone for assistance. I do this to my wife when she uses the last bit at the house and forgets to replace it. “Honey!” I will yell. “Amanda!!” she always knows the tone of that holler and a small hand slides in the bathroom with a fresh roll.

But, I am at a triathlon, I don’t know anyone in line here at the port-o-let, I am in a really bad spot.

I sit. I think. I sit . . . Maybe I could . . . no, no, no.

AH HA! I always wear a t-shirt right up until the swim begins. BUT, I don’t want to walk around without a shirt from now until the swim! I also don’t want to sit in here for the rest of the day either. I take off my shirt. I got it, tear off a sleeve! RIIIP!

As I put my sweat soaked, ONE SLEEVED T-shirt on and exit the port-o-let, I realize this is a bad day.

“All athlete’s to the swim start.” Was blared over the speaker system.

Again, with the Blue Bermuda swim trunks, I head to the start. I am in the 3rd group. And that group start arrives quickly. Off in the lake of mud I go. I feel great. I am on a steady pace, passing a few people and hitting each buoy in stride. I was making great time and I had no fatigue at all. I exit the water and jog to my bike.

My transition is smooth and I am off. I get up the first two little hills no problem. Then after the first major turn I begin to see spots. My legs are like liquid and my shoulders begin to shake. I am 2 seconds from an upchuck.

I keep cranking. I make the second major turn about 3 miles into the bike. It is an uphill right after the turn. I am almost to the top and I know that there is a long downhill after this short hill, but my head is spinning and I am blacking out. I pull off, get off my bike and suck down some H20. I am in shade and I try to lean against the wooden fence that I eventually become well acquainted with, but as I lean, I fall because the fence is further away than I thought it was.

“Crap” is all I can think. I land in an ant hill. “Crap” again.

I stand, brush off, and drink more water.

I have done this before in my previous races. Take a break, walk the hill, get going again. This was different. I was dizzy and nauseous. I would see black for a second and then feel like I was close to falling again.

I tried to get back on my bike probably four times. Each time the same occurrence, dizziness and nauseous ness.

Once again, the participants of the race were awesome. I heard so many words of encouragement and many questions to see if I was OK.

Each time someone would ask, “You OK?” I would respond with a, “yep.” But, inside, I was like a drunken fraternity kid, playing that game where you put your head on a baseball bat and spin around nine times and then try and run across a field. I was struggling.

Finally, I sucked up my pride, since I realized I would not be able to go anywhere, and requested help.

Let me explain how I felt at this moment.

Everything I had accomplished up to this point . . . didn’t matter. The three triathlon’s I had completed before this one . . . didn’t matter. The weight I have lost (26 lbs so far) didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. I was in shambles. I was embarrassed. I was angry. I was sad. I apologized to the guy who had to drive me back. I tried to hide my face as we passed participants on their bikes. I looked down when we arrived back at the transition and spectators stared at me in the passenger seat of the van.

All I could think was that they looked at me and said to themselves, “he had no business even trying to do this triathlon. Look at him.”

I wish I was invisible or an ostrich. I wish I could have buried my head in the sand. I really felt like I had let so many people down. I really felt like I had set back all fat people trying to prove themselves and just get by without being prejudged.

It is about eight hours after the race. Pat’o and I are about 60 miles outside of Baton Rouge. I am still depressed and a little disappointed in myself. I keep thinking I could have pushed myself. I wonder if I could have pushed myself. I don’t think I could have. I am sick. I am on drugs. I have diary.

My friends from the BRtri club tell me to chalk this one up to a bad day. They say we ALL have them.

What I am doing now is attempting to stay positive and motivated to continue in the right direction. I am trying to get this thought out of my head that I am going to suck form here on out.

So, tonight I will suck down more Nyquil and go to work tomorrow. Hopefully I will get better soon. When I do, the next day I will wake early. I will run 3 miles to the LSU rec. center. I will swim 1200m and then I will run 3 miles back home. If I have to walk I will walk, but I will get back on track.

I am still a winner because I am trying. Ooops, tri-ing.

I am a winner because there were many other people that didn’t wake today and do anything to improve their health . . . I did.

Thank you to Pat’o for listening to me complain and beat myself up. Thanks for the words.

Thanks to Susan for telling me she DNF (did not finish) a race last year.

Thanks to Denise, Kristen, and Johnnie for being kind and picking me up by telling me how hard the race was.

I will be back next year. I will conquer. I will be healthier.

One step backwards, two steps forward.