Thursday, June 30, 2005

Disco Triathlon!

I am taking suggestions on a race outfit for this event! It must be 100% Polyester and fake gold!

I am looking forward to my first out of town tri with my club, BRtri..

Have a great week everyone, train hard, I'll be thinking about you all while I'm on the beach this week.

tri-ing fatman

Monday, June 27, 2005

Yam City-Road Kill!

"like a chiwawa in a pit-bull fight" Posted by Hello


4:00 AM came early! But, was welcomed.

After a brief “warm-up” shower, I gave Amanda a little whisper to wake up and get the others up for me.

Terry, my father in law is still repairing and fixing our house and Thad, my little brother and his fiancée, Camille are here to see me in my third, yes I said it, my 3rd triathlon!!

As I was loading my bike onto the rack I became worried. You see, last night I had to switch the wheels from my Trek to this one. Why? Since you asked, I did this because after attempting to change the tubes on my Special ed (specialized) bike and I pinched both tubes and then found out there was a pin hole in the rear tire. Woo Hoo!

After consultation form a fellow tri-friend and club member of BRtri, I switched the tires out and said a short prayer.

Well, this morning I couldn’t help but think of all the things that could go wrong with this switch a roo.

We met up at GW and Doggie’s house at 4:45 AM and off we go! Gw, Doggie, Bashfull (one of the cutest children I have met) and Pat’o in one vehicle, Neal, Will (Jocko the Rocko we will address that later), and Reagan in one vehicle, a sleeping Amanda, Terry, Thad, and Camille in my vehicle. AND WE’RE OFF!

The reason I’m sharing detailed information about the individuals traveling with and participating in this event as members of the BRtri Club is essential for my story.

You see this is my first tri in Louisiana and amongst my new friends. As cool as I try and play it, I am nervous as a chiwawa in a pit-bull fight!!!
But I don’t think I ever let on to the fact that I was so nervous.

Once we arrived in Opelousas I became a bit more jittery. I hope this feeling one day goes away, however before each race (this being my third) I have become nauseous. This morning I had a snickers because I didn’t want to feel as I did in my two previous races, but heck, next time I’m going to stop off and have a waffle with Nipps since it doesn’t seem to matter, I feel sick no matter what is in my stomach.

I unload my bike and the first person I see is JLO!!! My nemesis of the Yam City Triathlon!!!! JLO challenged me on our BRtri forum. She said she was going to kick my butt, even though I’m a fatty she is still older. (Those are more my words than hers, she didn’t use “fatty” for her descriptive wording) When I saw her I wanted to belt out an “I’m gone kick your butt” kind of statement, but a simple, “Hey” is all I could muster up. She smiled and said hi to me.

Then I saw Michael Pate. I was really excited to see him.

I was told about Mike (as I call him) by an
member and went to his website, which I posted above.

I was so inspired by Mike. You see, before I saw his site, I thought it would be months and many many pounds lost before I should even think about attempting a triathlon. After emailing Mike and reading about him, that is when I decided to do my first tri.

Thanks Mike. You are a big part of my life change.

Mike and I chatted a bit and I became completely endeared to him. I made a friend for life. The funny thing was when he relayed to me that he had been called Chris on several occasions that morning!!!

He is a good-looking guy.

As the race start came closer I began to shrug off some of my jitters and even mustered up a shot at JLO. It went something like, “HEY! JLO” and when she looked up, “YOU’RE MINE!” she laughed, which was appropriate since she cleaned the track with my face! But, I didn’t feel so bad; she whipped a lot of other people too.

Congrats JLO. One day . . . One day.

As I slipped on my, once again “signature” bright blue Bermuda swim trunks and put in my earplugs, I realized I wasn’t nervous anymore????? I think it is the power of the shorts. It must be. Amanda and I decide that even when I have lost the 201 lbs. I am shooting for, I will still wear these swim trunks.

My friend Will (Jocko) was 4th in the swim start. This means he is SUPER FAST!!! Or, as he relayed to us standing in line, he just wrote down a number someone from the LSU swim team gave him. I wonder if he regrets that today?

I was 47 and Neal was 48 just behind me. I was sort of nervous again, since I had a feeling I was ahead of my skill level too (NOT SAYING WILL WAS!!!) and I didn’t want to embarrass myself.

Sorry Neal.

About mid way through the swim I was feeling pretty good. I felt Neal on my butt and felt bad, but then I noticed we were both right on top of the person in front of me. This is no disrespect to that individual because we all have our good and bad days, but . . .


I went to pass him on the left and all of the sudden Neal passes him on the right! WOOSH!!! We both fly by him. Then Neal goes on to fly through the remainder of the swim, leaving me in his wake, literally.

I semi jogged to the transition. I got through the transition fairly well and off I went.

It was nice to see Doggie and Vanilla with his children there at the bike start. But, that soon turned to embarrassment when I couldn’t get my darn shoes to clip in!!! I almost ran a poor woman off the road and while I was trying to apologize I almost ran into the curb and off into the grass and who knows where I would have ended up.

I got my wits about me and finally clipped in.

Now. I have an idea for the name of next years Yam City Triathlon.


I am sure I was the only one that had this problem since I was the only one on the flattest course in triathlon history to have my head buried in my chest trying to make my pedals move! I couldn’t believe I was struggling on the course. When I say flat, I mean play hockey on it, flat or glass flat. But, here I was head down chugging away!

Road kill on a highway is expected, obviously. When I tell you that I hit every one of them, I am not lying. I needed to lift my head so I could see 10 feet in front of me, but I was beat and then BUMP BUMP~! BUMP BUMP!

Crap, I hit another one!

I may take it upon myself next year to go out the day before the race with a shovel. I think that I could save a minute or maybe to in the race if I wouldn’t have missed one or two of the thirty road kill speed bumps out there!!!!

But, I was still having fun!!!

The roads were awesome. Smooth, not hot from the sun yet, almost perfect. Then we hit the frontage road for about 2 miles. My wrist hurt as I am writing this because of that stretch of the course. The only good news about that portion of the course was that I was only passed by about 3 or 4 people as opposed to the rest of the course where I was passed about every minute and a half.


After a few brief photo opportunities, which I am known for, it was down to business.


I waddled to my spot, hung my bike on the rack, which later I think pissed GW off. I think I let it fall in her way?

Sorry GW.

Then I went to the task of getting ready for the run. Oh boy. Now, let me explain. As I am changing shoes, taking off my helmet, all that jive, in my mind, I am moving at the speed of light!!!

When we watched it on the handy cam last night . . . HA!!!!! You would have thought the race was over and I was winding down getting ready to eat the Jambalaya they had prepared for us!!! I was moving like pond water!!

GW, came in about a minute after me and was gone about 3 minutes before me!

THEN IT HAPPENED! My one “dumb-dumb” act of the race. I jump up glasses going on and . . .

“Oh Crap” you hear through the TV as we watched the recording. Then you hear a small giggle from the individual recording the episode, my wife Amanda.

I put on my running shorts . . . Forgot to take off my cycling shorts!

After a quick re-change I was off to the run.

I decided before the race I was going to do my spurt running. This is where I pick out a telephone pole and then another down 50 yards or so. I start running as hard as I can at the first one and stop and walk after the second. Then I do it again after 100 yards or so.

At about the 1 mile mark I noticed I was in a familiar neighborhood. Then I recognized a home that I have been in a few times as one of my clients home, Harold!

I have never seen this look on a volunteer’s face before. She couldn’t believe what was transpiring before her very eyes.

I ran into his yard, rang his doorbell and said hello!

He was happy to see me, and then off I went.

Harold and his wife are absolutely wonderful people and I was glad to share that moment with him.

I caught up to Mike Pate about 200 yards later and he was having a problem with his left calf. It was cramping pretty bad on him.

DO NO GET ME WRONG, I was in no way slacking up or kicking his butt or anything like that, but I made a decision to stick with him and finish together. He adopted my spurt running and before you know it, we were coming to the last turn before the finish.

I have been telling everyone how motivating this sport is. I have been telling everyone how awesome the people in this sport have been, I have been telling everyone the friendships I have made since adventuring into the world of triathlons.

This is where my explanations are put into examples.

As Mike and I cam around that corner, I saw a bunch of skinny, muscular, men and women in orange and blue tri uniforms standing there. I don’t have prescription sunglasses so at first I wasn’t sure what was going on, but it came to me quickly as a I heard my name.

“Come on Chris! Yea, Chris!”

It was the BRtri club members who had participated in the Yam City Tri and also those who came to see the race. They were all about 150 yards from the finish and they were waiting to cheer me on.

If I weren’t such a macho-man . . .

I felt such a strong feeling of acceptance and caring. It didn’t matter how fat I was at that moment. It didn’t matter that I worry so much about how people perceive me and my obesity. I don’t think anything mattered at that moment. I had two thoughts:

I want to run in with Mike.

I want to run in hard.

The two didn’t coincide with one another.

Mike told me to go ahead.

What transpired next is so funny!

As I was gasping for air, running as hard as I could at the moment and JLO was screaming at me to suck it up! I was trying to motivate Mike. HA!!!!!

It was this feeble attempt at a bad sports movie like Rocky XII or something where his corner is yelling at him to keep fighting!!!! YOU CAN DO IT ROCKY!!!!

I am yelling back at Mike, “Come on man, don’t stop running on me!” I sound like a bad sports script! All the while I am close to passing out.

And need I mention that during this, JLO is basically running backwards yelling at me to kick it up a notch!!

Oh, what a moment!!! Oh how I laughed when watching the recording, oh how I laughed.

I will work on my inspirational, motivational, and empowering finishing quotes for the future. But, you have to remember one thing here. This was a first for me.

My goal coming into the race was one thing.


Thank you all.

Thank you Doggie, I heard you in the swim. I like the road-dog name, can I keep it?

Thank you Vanilla for reminding me not to stop too frequently for photo those opportunities.

Thank you JLO, for making my race slightly competitive, even though I knew I had no chance, even if you are old enough to be my Mom.

Thank you, to all of the people passing me on the bike like I was standing still. Your words of encouragement were awesome and needed, sadly.

Thank you family for waking so early for something that gave you no benefit.

Thanks to the entire BRtri club. YOU GUYS ROCK!!!!! I am so proud to be associated with such a cool group of people.

As I sat there on the cooler holding my purple socks that I had won as a door prize, I thought about the day.

I am a lucky person. But, I think so many of you can be as lucky as me.

It may not me triathlons. It may be just a walk around the block or not eating fast food for a month. What ever it is, you can be as lucky as I feel today. It only takes one thing.

Reach out to those around you. Tell them your goals. Make yourself accountable to them. Start a Blog. Write down you goals. Then . . .

Do it.

You will be amazed. I want you to succeed. I know how miserable you are. I know how you feel when your pants wont button with out the jaws of life assisting you. I know how you feel in public. I know how intimidated you are by healthy looking people. I know how you cry at times in despair. I know what you are thinking when you’re hungry right after you have just eaten Chinese Buffet!!! I KNOW!!! I KNOW!!!!

I also know how I feel today. You can do it! I will do what ever I can to help you, but try out your own family. Your own friends. Make new friends if yours won’t help you.

I am still one big fat, sloppy dude. I see it in the mirror everyday. I see it in the video from the race just yesterday. I am only about 25 pounds lighter than I was 6 weeks ago. I don’t look any different in my own eyes, even though Amanda tells me she sees weight loss. It doesn’t matter, because I still see a big fat, sloppy guy.

But, one thing has changed. One thing that makes me smile.

I am doing something about it and people know that and they are taking time to invest in my success. I am asking for help on occasion, but for the most part they are volunteering their help and motivation.

It will take a long time for me to lose 210 lbs (185 now) and I screw up daily. Just now I had an iced Mocha and ham and cheese croissant. I am pissed at myself, but I will make it up on the run tomorrow. I will run an extra mile.

6 weeks ago, I couldn’t run 25 feet. I am not exaggerating. 25 feet!


Finally, to address my goal . . .

My goal for the Yam City Tri was . . . Not to finish last.

Doggie went to the times and found my time.

He came to me and told me there were only 124 times posted so far.

I was 120. I WAS 120!!!

I was . . . 120.


Friday, June 24, 2005

Weigh In # 2 June 24, 2005

Sacle time Posted by Hello

382.4 lbs.

Net gain/loss = (-9.4 lbs!)

Previous Weigh In #1 June 10, 2005
391.8 lbs.

next weigh in: July 8, 2005

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Being Fat is too Easy.

Heaven Posted by Hello

I quit smoking about 10 years ago. It was easy.

Why can't losing weight be the same way?

Sunday, June 12, 2005

6 hours for that!

mantis! Posted by Hello

Two hours into our drive home I am questioning my sanity while Amanda is asking me if I need a sprite to settle my stomach.

I am in the backseat of our vehicle, headphones on listening to Dave all the while doing my best to keep from going into what I have defined as the praying mantis. For those Kung Fu aficionados, I am not referring to the deadly fighting style used by Yu Son Lee Poc, in the classic, Dueling Dragons and fighting cheetah.

My particular “praying mantis” would be when I am sitting, quietly in my assigned spot, causing no problems, staring off into the pines that line the side of I-59 South. As I am sitting, smartly, I begin to posture and skillfully take shape into THE PRAYING MANTIS!

You should not, I repeat, NOT attempt this feat, unless like me, you are a professional at the extremely perplexing and contortionistic act. However I understand that many will want to understand HOW the praying mantis came to be.

Here are the prerequisites: Number one you must be in top shape, as I am, round. Two, keep yourself, improperly hydrated. Three and possibly most important, choose an activity that will use every ounce of energy to the point where your body practically collapses, such as a marathon, the Tour De France, or like this most current activity, a teeny tiny sprint triathlon. Four, do not prepare for your activity properly with training, stretching, or proper hydration leading up to your chosen event.

It is not necessary to complete your event, however somehow I was able to flail my body across the finish line today, but if you can’t you simply need to follow the practically collapsing portion of part three.

Once you have reached that point you need only wait.

The power of the praying mantis will take you over mind and spirit. Oh I almost forgot to mention, physically, it will take you over physically as well.

The praying mantis is extremely successful if you can put your aching, deprive, beaten body into an area that has limited moving space. For example the backseat of your vehicle. That one works beautifully! Once you are in that confined space . . . just wait with patience, the mantis will come.

I won’t make you wait until you try this on your own to understand how it works, so, how about I share with you my most recent experience!!!! 15 minutes ago!!!

As I was staring out of the window, thinking about holding down the lunch we had after my tri, I began to slip off into a gentle sleep. How soothing. I was calm and relaxed for the first time all day. My head leaned slightly to the right as my sleep began to deepen. Heaven! I needed this after the night I had before the race. Heaven . . .

“AH AH, oh crap, oh oh, ah!” The mantis had arrived. At the back of my left knee a slight cramp that strengthened and ripped me out of my sleep. The band that runs on the outside, back part of your knee felt as though it were on fire! I threw my leg over to the other seat across from me and rushed to it with both hands. I began to try and straighten it while rubbing, no luck. Amanda is looking at me in the rearview mirror. Her look is inquisitive but, not the concerned inquisitive . . . The, “what the heck are you doing?” inquisitive.

I am doing everything I can do, rubbing it, trying to straighten it, hitting it, yelling at it, and begging it. My last resort was going to be cry at it.

But the power of the mantis is much stronger than me. I warn you. It only takes seconds for the praying mantis to take control. For me, today, it was mini-seconds.

As I continued to respond to my knee area, suddenly the muscle that goes from your hip to your knee began to cramp aggressively. “OH!!!!!” I rush to it like the paramedic did to me, with his defibrillator as I crossed the finish line!

Just as I reached it and began to rub, my knee gave me a painful reminder that my assistance was needed there. Back to the knee, but the hip cramp pain began to increase! BACK to the hip! But, as I was in mid transition, my hamstring of my left leg roared with pain! By now my father in law, he is giving me that same look as my wife. I lean my body over the leg trying to stretch out the cramp, but alas, I couldn’t defeat the mantis. I knew it was only a matter of time.

As I leaned and prayed, my right forearm took shape. The mantis was almost complete! The muscle reeled in my hand beginning with my little finger until it was practically touching the muscle that was pulling it in.

I grabbed it with my other hand and tried to force it back to shape! In a panic I cried out as the warrior that I am! As defeat was imminent my face became stern, lips clenched together is defiance, I focused. Poising for one last charge! “RAAAAHHHHH!”

“OO, OOOO, owe, ouch, ooo!”

The transformation was complete. You may wonder how I know this? It’s not difficult, really.

As I lay half across the captain chairs and clutter strewn about the floor. One leg cocked back the other almost under me. One hand in front of my chest bent down in horror, the other trying not to succumb to the same peril. Amanda asks, “Are you O.K.?” It’s not as much what she asked, more the look on her face as she asked it. “Yea, honey, fine.” My teeth gritted together. “It’s just the . . . praying mantis”. She understood.

She understood.

My body continued to give into the power of the mantis for another 10 minutes before it was released from its grips.

Now the remaining question. 6 hours there, 6 hours back. 3hr 11min 12 sec for a 600y open lake swim, 15 miles hilly bike, and 3 mile run. Was it worth it?


My swim went great. I ran in the water in my signature, neon blue Bermuda trunks. I began slow building up at each buoy. I wasn’t passed and passed several participants, knowing I would soon see their backs as they flew by me on the bike. I was full of wind at the end, ready to embrace the biggest challenge of this tri, the bike.

I started strong, I was surprised considering I spent the night losing my cookies and no sleep. I think it was nerves? I flew by several people while riding at a moderate pace and on the first downhill, I probably flew by 15 riders, but I knew it wouldn’t be long before the mountains took me over. Did I mention this race was at Oak MOUNTAIN State Park?

Again, I had to walk a few hills. But I rode my older bike with some good response, but a few were way too much for this fat boy! I questioned myself quite a few times on the bike, wondering if I really want to become a triathlete. Maybe I should get a trainer, not sports, just exercise? But I wasn’t allowed to think that way for long periods because some one would yell motivation to me. When someone tells you “You’re the man for just being here! Get going!’ How can you stop? Over and over again the motivation poured in overwhelming me.

As I hit mile 12 I suddenly gain a second breeze, not a wind, but at that point it was very welcomed. I surprised myself. I impressed myself. I churned out rotation after rotation, huffing along, head up, and determined. This last loop turn around was at the entrance of the park. As I made the loop heading to the transition most people were done and leaving. They would stop their vehicles and cheer me on and push me. They will never know how emotional that kindness at a much needed time meant to me. Thank you.

The hill in the last mile was killer. It became so difficult that as I was walking up it I decided to throw my bike on my back. IT WAS EASIER! I’m 390 pounds, what are 9 pounds going to matter?! I reached the peak, stumbled on my bike and road into the transition area about ¼ mile down.

Amanda, and Terry were running and screaming! I love my wife like nothing else. Her support in this endeavor is unmatched. To my wife, “you’re the best. Period.”

Let me tell you how disheartening it is when you ride in and they are breaking down the transition area! Woo! Man! But, I’m not about competing right now, come on, I am 390 lbs. I outweighed the CLOSEST person by an easy 175 pounds. Complete, not compete.

I got both of my transitions done much faster than my first tri. Just takes time and experiences.

Here was where I had my largest problem. My running shoes are on, helmet off, I begin to run. Holly cow! Both legs began to cramp. The large muscle to the inside of your knee cap that runs all the way up to you pelvis area. Both of those burned each time my feet hit the ground. At this point I was truly unsure whether or not I could finish. It wasn’t a matter of mental fatigue. I wasn’t being a wuss. I was in massive pain. They handed me two cups and I chugged down the liquids, it was powerade. It was amazing; the cramps went away right then.

I walked a lot on the run. An about mile 2 the cramps came back again with a vengeance. I would stop and stretch, rub but, no use. I said to myself, “just gotta go big boy. Just gotta go.” I did. One foot at a time and then I saw it. There was the lake! I knew the finish line was on the beach where we started the swim. I dug deep, took a long breath and pushed my pace literally as high as I could. My legs were on fire. My neck began to cramp and my eyes began to glaze. I slipped in and out of the moment. Some times I was in my own head in that last 100 yards and other times I took in the cheers from those left, which later I found out several people stayed to see me finish.

I crossed the finish in a flail as I said in the previous diatribe. About 200 yards out my racing belt fell down around my ankles. At this point all I could remember was the race leader banishing anyone who didn’t have on their race numbers. I ran with the belt around my ankles for about 40 yards and gave up on it. The cramps in my legs made me hobble run and twist. The cramp in my neck caused me to lean my head hard to the right and the look on my face I’m sure told my story. I got about 15 feet past the finish and the paramedic rushed over with the freaking defibrillator!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

When I caught a glimpse of him and figured out he was coming to check on me, I jumped up with my hands raised high and let out my warrior cry!!!!! “RAAAAAAAAAHH!” He backed off and smiled at me.

I am a fat man. I want to change my life. I am doing it. But, the beauty is, I am doing it and having fun. The power of the praying mantis is strong, but he doesn’t last for long and the strength this sport is giving me will one day, defeat the mantis.

Thank you to my new friends in the sport. You inspire me to “be great”. You help me when you don’t have to and you give without knowing.

Thank you,

Fat Man tri-ing

Saturday, June 11, 2005

We're off to Buster Britton in Birmingham

Amanda, my father in law, Terry and I are heading to Birmingham for a real challenge. If you want to put in a little prayer to your particular faith or just send positive thoughts my way about 8:00 AM Sunday Morning, I'll take it!

Tri-ing fat man

Friday, June 10, 2005

Weigh In #1 June 10, 2005

391 lbs.

Next weigh in: June 24, 2005

Thursday, June 09, 2005

My first triathlon . . . Tri-it-on

Man what a welcome Posted by Hello

Have you ever been in a state of mind where you were able to live an event before it actually happened?

Some people call it ESP, some call it deja-voo, espN even, and a few of you, you know who you are, think you've actually lived this life before. OK.

I had that experience, not living this life before I don't think, but the whole deja-voo thing just before my first triathlon. Let me tell you, what an experience.

It is 3:30 AM the morning of my race. WAIT!!! STOP RIGHT THERE!!! I need to clarify, HA! Race!! Oh man, I'm killing myself here! OK, done.

It is 3:30 AM the morning of my . . . a lot of other people's race, and my attempt at not losing control of one of 2 or 5 bodily functions, which I came to find was quite difficult. I woke in a startled, wide-eyed, looking around the room kinda way. You know, as if I really had to go to the bathroom, or someone was knocking on my front door.

I didn't have to go to the bathroom. I was at my Dad's house in Birmingham and the place was as quiet as could be. So what in the heck woke me so abruptly? I laid there. There were no sounds at all, we were in the guest room in the basement. Let me again clarify. My Stepmother would be horrified if anyone thought she had a guest room in the basement. Their basement is the equivalent of the nicest part of my house and that ain't shabby, but it is quiet.

For me, there is nothing worse that total silence. I enjoy peace and quiet, but not dead silence, this was that. As I drifted back into my sleep, my subconscious or whatever, began to reveal a dream I must have been having and that I was slowly drifting back into. It was a weird experience. I seemed to be half awake and half asleep, but I was able to recount this dream much better in this state of mind.

Then suddenly I began to, in my sub-conscious, remember this dream. And I continued to move forward in the dream as I was remembering the beginning of it. Go with me here.

The sun had been up for a couple hours. I had a difficult time sleeping so I went ahead and awoke and began prepping for the day that laid ahead. I went through my beginner triathlete check list. Filled my water bottles. Bodygluide, helmet, swim cap. check, check, check.

Amanda was still sound asleep, she would hate for me to say it, but this is my blog not hers. She was doing that cute little Amanda snore that doesn't really know if it is a snore or just heavy breathing so it comes out as both.

I pace around the down stairs, eat a power bar and begin to psych myself out . . . I mean up! "OK, who cares if you're 250 pounds heavier than the next person." I thought gingerly. "So what if you are going to wear your neon blue Bermuda swimsuit and you know all the other people are gonna be wearing slim tight fitting spando thingys." I was more trying to support myself than psych myself up.

Thank goodness Dad came down the stairs because another 15 minutes of that and I would have talked myself right out of it. "Well, you ready?" Dad asked with a big ole grin. Ok, maybe he didn't have to come down if he was just gonna ask that. "Yea, I think so, we'll see." I couldn't have been more confident!

We're in the car, Amanda is giving me sweet inspiration, I'm pissed because we're running a little behind. I snapped at her at least 3 times, she just continued to smile.

What happens next, you may have a difficult time with, but the story has to be told to show my emotional shape as I began my FIRST triathlon.

As we drove up to the event site in Birmingham at First Sports. I began to see hordes of people. I began to feel sick at my stomach questioning everything about myself and then I caught a shot of one of the posters this small child was carrying while walking with his Mom.

It was a large white poster board with the words "Fat Guys" and it had the universal "NO" sign through it, you know the RED circle with the RED line through it.

What the . . . ! I don't think Amanda saw it.

We found a parking spot. I sat for a second wondering what in the world I could be thinking and then headed to the transition area. I unloaded the bike threw my bag over my shoulder and began the trek up to the area for marking and as I was not 5 feet from my vehicle I heard a voice say, "That's him, that's the guy." it came from around the corner of this big RV, so I made sure I turned to corner to see who they were talking about. I didn't know if there was a celebrity guest participant or what.


They were talking about me. The giggles gave it away as I looked in their direction.

What the . . . !

Amanda was beginning to catch on to the surroundings and pointed out a poster sign that said "No Fat Guys in our TRI!" Her eyes were as big around as I have ever seen them as she turned slowly and made me aware of it. "Is that a joke?" she asked.

Remember, I play Rugby too, that would be a typical thing at a rugby match, but there are several, SEVERAL, fatties on a rugby team. Again, not as fat as me, but a few are close. You need the extra push'n in the scrum.

I told her I wasn't sure what was going on and assured her that EVERY ONE I had spoken to that participates in triathlons has been very supportive and we pressed on.

As if a bullet had been shot from a rifle and hit me square between the eyes, it hit me. As I entered the actual transition area the entire group became dead silent. Remember what I said about peace and quite VS dead silence? This was dead silence.

I looked around at them. I know I had the look of a sullen child lost in a Macy's Department store looking for my Mom.

They just stared. I could feel the eyes on me. It felt like weights on my body. I was becoming weak by their stares.


I heard a voice from the other side of the guest area.


I looked around for my wife! She was as dazed and confused as I was. We gave each other that look of bewilderment and our eyebrows both curved up in astonishment at the same time.

"GET OUT OF HERE!" The voices began to multiply and the stares turned into glares.

Amanda was being engulfed by the swarm of people beginning to chat in unison.

"NO FAT GUYS!" Again "NO FAT GUYS!" Over and over and over.

Amanda was screaming my name but, all I could see of her were her tiny hands sticking through the mass of screeching faces!

I had no where to go. I fought them off. I punched, I kicked, I even jumped on top of a van and ran to Amanda as she pushed her way into the clear.

But they were fast. Come on, they are triathletes for goodness sakes, I didn't stand a chance.

I gave in. I threw down my bag. I threw up my hands. I gave them the look of death and . . .

I spat in their general direction!

AND I SAID . . .


You may think that this was one of the worst things that could happen to a guy? I don't know? I don't. I think it was the BEST thing that could have happened to me.

Because it was the only thing that woke me up in time to get my wife out of bed in her clothes and get us rushing out of the door because the race was starting in 20 minutes!!!!!!

If it weren't for that horrible dream, I may have slept through the race! That will teach me not to bring my own alarm clock!

The good news is that the event could not have been more supportive. The participants were motivating and supportive. The race was very tough, but I managed to hold my cookies (sort of) and I finished to a wealth of applause and cheers!

It is a great sport with great people and I am so glad I woke up.

Fat Man Tri-ing

Buster Britton Triathlon

Sunday June 12, 2005
Buster Britton Posted by Hello

Yam City in Opelousas Louisiana
June 25 2005 Posted by Hello

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Buster Britton Tri in Birmingham

I haven't trained properly for my event this weekend. I am pissed off at myself and angry that I have let this important new driving force be put on the back burner.

I have a choice.

I can continue to gain weight and die as a result of it or I can find a way to control my weight and become more healthy. EASY, right?

When I accidentally catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I cringe.

In my mind I have this picture of what I THINK I look like. It is a mixed up mosaic of me when I was in the Army 15 years ago and me now. In this distorted Polaroid my brain has created, I am a muscular 400 pounder. HA! All it takes is a true digital snap shot to shred that image, but my mind is quick to forget and I am back to my unrealistic view of myself as a healthy big man which is so untrue.

It is amazing how the brain can derive conclusions of such obscurity or change such images into lies.

I am a FAT man.

I'm not being hard on myself people, I'm a freak'n porker and it is GOOD that I realize that. Every time I see myself in a picture or again, accidentally see myself in the mirror, when I am not posing in a "more" flattering position to hide some of the lard, I realize I need change.


I eat too damn much! I eat too often, I don't eat the right way, I skip breakfast and eat 10 minutes before I go to bed, I'm not happy unless I am stuffed! CRAP!

The sad freak'n part is . . . I KNOW IT!

I know it and I can't figure out how to stop it! Today I stopped and ate 10 chicken strips from KFC and topped em off with an extra large Dr.P!

I'm 400 POUNDS! There is no question why!

This is suppose to be a positive, motivational Blog. Let's get to that tomorrow.

I have good stuff, I do. If you're a fat person and you wanna change, let's do it, together. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

I'm heading out this weekend for my triathlon, I love the stares I get by the slim, longlegged, six-pack belly tote'n people.

They're looks say it all. But, I will, once again finish probably last again and one day I will look at them and MY look will say it all . . . "Now you don't remember me, do you? I WAS that fat guy."

Tri-ing Fat Man