Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Buster Britton Tri in Birmingham

I haven't trained properly for my event this weekend. I am pissed off at myself and angry that I have let this important new driving force be put on the back burner.

I have a choice.

I can continue to gain weight and die as a result of it or I can find a way to control my weight and become more healthy. EASY, right?

When I accidentally catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I cringe.

In my mind I have this picture of what I THINK I look like. It is a mixed up mosaic of me when I was in the Army 15 years ago and me now. In this distorted Polaroid my brain has created, I am a muscular 400 pounder. HA! All it takes is a true digital snap shot to shred that image, but my mind is quick to forget and I am back to my unrealistic view of myself as a healthy big man which is so untrue.

It is amazing how the brain can derive conclusions of such obscurity or change such images into lies.

I am a FAT man.

I'm not being hard on myself people, I'm a freak'n porker and it is GOOD that I realize that. Every time I see myself in a picture or again, accidentally see myself in the mirror, when I am not posing in a "more" flattering position to hide some of the lard, I realize I need change.


I eat too damn much! I eat too often, I don't eat the right way, I skip breakfast and eat 10 minutes before I go to bed, I'm not happy unless I am stuffed! CRAP!

The sad freak'n part is . . . I KNOW IT!

I know it and I can't figure out how to stop it! Today I stopped and ate 10 chicken strips from KFC and topped em off with an extra large Dr.P!

I'm 400 POUNDS! There is no question why!

This is suppose to be a positive, motivational Blog. Let's get to that tomorrow.

I have good stuff, I do. If you're a fat person and you wanna change, let's do it, together. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

I'm heading out this weekend for my triathlon, I love the stares I get by the slim, longlegged, six-pack belly tote'n people.

They're looks say it all. But, I will, once again finish probably last again and one day I will look at them and MY look will say it all . . . "Now you don't remember me, do you? I WAS that fat guy."

Tri-ing Fat Man

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