RIP – The old me.
7 ½ hours.
Seven and a half hours on an operating table.
2005. June. Miserable, disgusted with myself, angry at so many areas of my life that suffered as a result of my obesity. The beginning of the end of that life began . . . June 2005.
Tri-it-on triathlon was the first. I began that race in the pool at about 7:30am. Vulnerable, afraid, and embarrassed by my weight and looks, I stood in line wishing I could blend in until I entered the water. I weighed 452 pounds when I began training for this race and weighed about 425 pounds on this day.
Three and a half years, more than 50 races including mostly triathlons, but also run races and this year a cycling time trial race, I have come to the end of that former me.
I am not exactly where I wanted to be on this day, but I am within 20 lbs of it. I weigh in today at 249 lbs. I’ve lost more than 200 lbs since I began, but what I have truly gained is the new me.
Many doubted and many more who supported . . . BOTH motivated.
I meet people on a regular basis who say they follow this blog and others who tell me of a friend who uses my experiences through this blog. Being fat sucks and is no fun. I know there are times where you lose hope and give up or in to your cravings and dependency on food. Fact is this – I STILL go to food for comfort – I have chosen healthier food and less of it. There are also times that I have completely fallen off the wagon. Once you realize you’ve fallen . . . Get back on. No matter how bad you’ve fallen, ALL IS NOT LOST!! Just get back on.
I am still hard on myself and intimidated in public – especially races, but it is better and I get better with “me” everyday.
You Can Do It! I will help in anyway I can. I try and return every email sent to me within a reasonable time and I enjoy hearing your stories and your daily obstacles. But, what I know is – You Can Do It!
The old me was a good kind person with VERY low self esteem – This newer me is getting over it!
Then there is today . . .
Wednesday December 3, 2008 – 08:00 hours
I will be under the knife with a highly qualified surgeon who will be performing an upper body lift where he will remove about 15 to 20 pounds of loose skin that has become a mental and physical nuisance.
I am afraid and excited at the same time.
That is not the exciting news.
The exciting news is . . . As a result of this surgery I will be able to enjoy a healthy, active, fun life with my NEW BABY!!
Amanda is 9 weeks preggo!
We are so very happy and I am so very concerned about being a good father. I have decided to teach my child what not to do through via my experiences!!!!!
Please pray for me tomorrow and I will post on Friday – If I am coherent – and let you know how I am doing.
Then we will begin the next chapter!