My wife has seen me a little frustrated since I have been sticking to 1200 calories (and less) but over the past 3 weeks I have not lost weight.
Let me really matter of fat here. I did fall off the wagon two or three times for three or four days at a time. I would resort back to eating high calorie crap, but I have done better at stopping that and getting back on track rather than sabotaging my efforts by telling myself that it is ok for me to continue eating badly since I fell off, NO MORE OF THAT!
Bottom line is that since the scale hasn’t shown any change for so long I have been irritable (as Amanda puts it). Our friends Ryan and Mary (both MDs who are expecting their first baby!!!!) educated her on changing ketosis levels (I am paraphrasing) in my body and how that can have an effect on my in da brain.
I have been a little frustrated after seeing weight drop off of me for 2 ½ months (434 lbs to 338 lbs) and then over the last month I have lot only 7lbs. But, as I stated prior, I did lose focus for a few days over the past month.
Therefore Amanda talked me into picture logging (that is what we call it) this morning. She convinced me I would see a difference. Me, not so sure.
As you can see from the pics . . . I CAN see a difference!
Now my focus has been elevated and I am ready to tackle my next AND FINAL 120lbs. I AM PRACTICALLY HALF WAY THERE!!! I began at 434lbs and my goal is 210lbs. That is a total of 224lbs and I have lost 106lbs thus far. Only 118lbs to go.
I ran my last 5k in a sub 37 minutes and little over 12 min mile!!!!! WOO HOO! Consider that when I run a 5k alone (not in a triathlon) I have usually averaged about 50 minutes which is over 16 min per mile and when I run it at the end of a race as part of a triathlon I average about 18 to 19 minutes a mile.
Mile Stone #2:
I broke down and bought new boxers. After my old size boxers where literally falling off of me, I bought more that were a couple sizes smaller and they were tight at first, but now are perfect.
Thanks to everyone for their positive comments and their kindness. Also thank you to the haters that really fuel my fire.
I am going to beat this and I am going to finish a 5k in under 26 minutes before 2008 is over. I am also going to finish Cajunman (Sept 08) in under 2 hours (my best cajunman was (2:38:31).
I will try and post more regularly on my weight. I am doing a few 5k runs over the holidays, but I am not planning any tri’ until Cajunman in September 08. I want to focus on losing the weight which is requiring me to eat very little and it is difficult to train and the race on so little calories. However once I am at 210 I will begin to learn my eating style to maintain that weight and load properly for energy and then I will kick butt at Cajunman 08!
After I had written the above post I had a discussion with Amanda and we talked about my fears of losing weight. I know, I know . . . What fears???? Losing weight and fears shouldn't go together but they did and still do for me.
My biggest fear of losing weight was stretch marks and loose skin. Now, many a skinny person has said to me, "who cares about that?" I do. And I write this blog with the hopes that I can be a channel for or human research project for someone who is going through the same weight issues I am. I am ashamed at times to share some of the feelings I am having about myself but, I figure that if I am having those feelings then there might be someone else going through this that has the same feelings and they should know they are not alone. I am brutally honest in sharing my highs and lows about this experience of being mortally obese to one day being healthy. I will say that even with my short term successes it is still very difficult on me and I am depressed a lot of the times event thought I am over 100 pounds less than I was 4 short months ago.
My fears are coming to fruition and I am dealing with them ok on some days and not so much on others. The loose skin is not as bad as I thought it would be, but the stretch marks are nasty. I am currently reading a journal article that discusses assisting in the repairing of those cells and things I can do to help, however it seems that there is no “fix” for lose skin and stretch marks except going under the knife and having what they call a body lift. I am not so keen on that whole deal, but we shall see.
The area that bothers me the most is around my butt. GRRRRRR. Loose skin is a runn’n wild! But the alternative – staying at 400 plus pounds is not acceptable.
The other issue I am dealing with – This is really gross – is hygiene in areas where the loose skin hangs now. In some of the folds I have to constantly monitor and clean AND KEEP DRY or I get sores. I am not dealing well with that at all. I feel dirty even though I shower twice a day and at times when exercising in the middle of the day I will shower three times a day, but it still messes with my psyche.
My point in sharing this is that I think this is inevitable for anyone losing massive amounts of weight and I am trying to look at it as a positive. Such as . . . This just means I am succeeding in my goal and it may get worse before it gets better, therefore I need to expect the worse and then it will get better??????????
I will charge on and if I can help anyone out there in blogosphere-land with their goals of losing weight please post or email me.
God Bless and Peace Out II!