Monday, April 16, 2007

Hope




















This blog has taught me a lot in the short time I have been writing in it. There are good people out there that have their own manner in which they care.

In my triathlon club here in Baton Rouge I have recently made that realization and it was difficult to get there. In triathlon you don’t have too many 400 pounders! (I crack myself up) Therefore it is difficult for many in this sport to understand how I have let myself get to this point, BUT even more, it is difficult for them to understand why I can’t simply “fix” It.

I also learned that my past means diddly squat. All of the accomplishments mean nothing when I am in the state I am today. After taking in all of the responses to my blog post I actually feel more ashamed and feel I have dishonored my service and my military accomplishments by letting myself fall into the state I am today.

It took a few harsh responses on our BRtri blog for me to absorb that and begin to get pissed at myself AGAIN but this time for dishonoring my accomplishments and the Tab.

People care.

They show this in different ways. Some may not care about you or your struggle, but the care about the situation you are in and it might not me thoughtful care. What I mean is, care doesn’t necessarily mean concern it can also mean they care that they believe you are a piece of crap and lazy and they want everyone else to think the same, but YOU CAN ALSO CHOOSE T MAKE THAT MOTIVATIONAL.

I am no longer going to post my link on the BRtri forum. I am ONLY doing this because I enjoy little controversy about me. I like being in the back of the room. I am more inclined to b the kids are to be seen not heard, type. I know this may come as a surprise to many of you, but it is the truth. More than not the only time you will see me making a spectacle is when I am cheering for others or really pissed off. I prefer to cheer.

I met with a really awesome person, Chris last night at Starbucks. Amanda and I were excited to meet with Chris. Chris has a remarkable story and I am so inspired by his accomplishments. Among MANY issues he dealt with in his life one was his weight. We had a open, clear, and honest conversation. Chris once weighed over 350 pounds.

Let me be clear here . . . . I AM NOT LOOKING FOR YOUR SYMPATHY OR YOUR PITTY.

I am endeared to Chris. He made comments that allowed me to feel that I am not the only one. I am not alone. He spoke of his embarrassment in not being able to sit in a movie theater since he was too big for the seats. The fear of breaking a chair in a restaurant EVERYTIME he sat down, and other personal issues that came along with his obesity.

I was emotional hearing all of that and realizing that sitting in front of me was me, only the new me. Chris now weighs about 240 pounds ( I don’t remember exactly) and he looks GREAT and I can feel his now self and his new inner strength. I am so happy and proud of Chris.

After 45 minutes of talking and seeing old photos and Amanda also asking questions I left starbucks highly determined and motivated, but more than both of those, I had a sense of hope. Chris helped me find my hope again.

I don’t care if you think that is cheezey of soft. I found my hope and I am not letting it go.

To all of my BRtri peeps, you rock and I am better as a result of being in your crowd. For my friends here on the blog, thanks and let’s keep up the fight.

Find the hope.




4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hello its tommy from alexandria. You have nothing to be ashamed of I was 425 at one time and now am 265 and have been trying to get up the nerve to do a tri and i dont have the balls to do a 5k. I check your blog everyday. I cant tell you how you inspire me and I hope to meet you one day. I too have my slumps but get going again and by what you have alrady accomplished you are an amazing person and what you are cappable of and will do in your future is limitless and I hope to read about all your future accomplishments

Ikes said...

Keep it up brother! We all have shit we're trying to shake off...myself included...habits that just won't die. Stay strong, stay motivated, and stay around positive people.

Emile Oestriecher said...

Emile here, once 495, now 301. Want to tri or 5K and meet with Cassoano's and some other locals. I appreciatre your honesty and and wish you success. Ill be in touch at one of your tri's.
PS Tommy, Hi from Alexandria. too

Anonymous said...

Hey Chris,

I just saw this. I wanted to let you know that I enjoy meeting at your house in the middle of the night and running with you and Rocket. I found myself thinking of you often this weekend and wondering how you were doing. Thanks for allowing us to meet at your house and helping me stay commited. Joie