Monday, August 28, 2006

Reality!!!!!!

I had a rude awakening today.

It has been coming on for a month or two now. I’ve known it and it more than likely is why I passed out at my race in Arkansas last week.

I have not been training. I have been pretending and lying to myself and in a way to you guys that read my blog.

I am sorry.

I am sorry to me and to you guys.

I have been eating horribly for the past couple months and only training here and there, but nothing to talk of. I have been on my bike very little and running even less and swimming not so much since Heatwave the OLY in Jackson Mississippi.

Up until then I was training hard for Memphis in May and Heatwave. I was logging my training and watching what I ate. Then I slowly fell off the wagon until I wasn’t doing anything for my health. No training and eating like a horse on a blubber diet.

I am mad at myself and a little disgusted.

I am 6’2” and as of today, when I got on the scale for the first time since May 23rd when I logged my weight and I weighed in at 378 pounds, today I weighed in at 401 pounds.

I weighed 421 pounds at my highest weight and 405 when I did my first triathlon in May of 2005.

I am right back there!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I knew I was doing badly.

I bought a food saver and put it into use tonight making my meals for the week at 1,440 calories a day with breakfast, lunch, dinner and a snack between each and after dinner so I am eating 6 smaller portions a day, again totaling 1,400 calories.

I am going to swim tomorrow at 5:30am and run 3 miles tomorrow evening.

Monday, September 4th I begin my Half Ironman training.

I am not happy with myself right now, but I will post September 10th and let you know where my weight is and hopefully I will show progress.

Keep me in your positive thoughts.

Thanks.

5 comments:

pat fellows said...

hey bro,
i know i am on again off again for you, but i am slammed most of the time. i can only offer this, you need to start running at a caloric defecit. you can't lose eating too much. i know you know this but sometimes seeing it opens a realization.
i can offer only one food option, and that is to make salads on mondays. i can make you 3 or 4 and you can eat them during the week. let me know. i will not be disappointed if we blow off that race in a month. there is no point in killing yourself and ruining your week with the wife over a race. lets get you doing the right stuff and race later. give me a call if you want to talk it out. you have nothing to prove to me or anyone else (including yourself)
your brother man
rocket to the boy!

Anonymous said...

Chris...your post today took courage. You faced the facts and are heading back in the right direction!

Tim Hutchinson said...

Chris,

I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I can know what you are going through. You are one of a few people on the planet who are brave enough and determined enough to challenge themselves the way you have. You should be proud of every thing you have done to this point.

But I agree with Rocketboy, you need to take care of your health and family first. CATS should have been a good wake-up call. Pushing yourself to exhaustion is fun. Pushing yourself to unconsciousness is not.

I plan on doing IMFL next year with you, so take care of yourself,

Tim

Anonymous said...

Hey Big Brother,

I love you!

Grace!

Anonymous said...

Keep ypur chin up Chris. All of us Ultra Clydes as I like to call us have out bad day, weeks, and months. thats how we got here. Keep doing what you know is right for you amd your family, and you will be fine.